dealing with guilt and shame

[Monica]

Flower remedies are excellent for this. They are very powerful. Very inexpensive and can be purchased at any health food store. Taking flower remedies is like having the mud wiped from one's eyes. Suddenly, one's outlook is different. They can also bring suppressed emotions to the surface where they can be healed. An excellent book (that can help determine which remedies to use) is Advanced Bach Flower Therapy: A Scientific Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment by Götz Blome

---

It is quite possible to disassociate from your emotions to the degree that they split off and gain their own form of sentience. In some severe cases this can manifest in things like Dissociative Identity Disorder, or even in poltergeist activity. I think the most common form of this phenomenon, though, especially for sensitives and active spiritual seekers, is simply a rain cloud of nasty feelings that seem to come from nowhere and follow the person around- an ominous presence leering out at you from the closet.

I went through a quite acute version of this experience, in which I detached a deep, burning self-hatred from my consciousness, causing it to manifest in the form of a very aggressive, malevolent presence. On good days there were general feelings of unease and paranoia. On bad days I would feel intense hatred being directed from what seemed like a vortex of evil within my house. On several occasions scratches and bruises appeared on my body and at some of the worst points it was enough to drive me to suicidal behavior.

Of course, I was firmly convinced there was some evil entity haunting my home, attempting to pull me from the light. The moment my eyes were finally opened to the fact that this wretched creature was ME was one of the most crushing moments of my life. The GUILT and SHAME were so great that I was filled with the samurai instinct to slice open my own gut in the face of losing all I found honorable. Not only did I have to contend with the fact that all of these "horrible" manifestations were of my own creation, but I was also faced with the responsibility of a thought form I had given life to out of sheer misery. I withered under the stare of my own hatred, facing a part of myself devoid of mercy or compassion, cut off from the loving energy of the heart.

As we shift into a new era of consciousness these sort of instances are becoming a lot more pronounced. I know numerous individuals who have created their own personal monsters in a very literal sense. We are beginning to become awakened to the power that lies within each of us, yet at this point most of us are like children playing with daddy's loaded gun. We have no idea what we are capable of doing. I would go so far as to say that 99.999999% of "psychic attacks" are self-inflicted, and the other small percentage are brought about by very obvious holes torn in the aura by emotional turmoil within the self.

The good news is that these situations can be resolved in a relatively quick and painless manner. My integration process was long and painful because I had no idea what I was doing, but after completing it I have been able to guide others to a much smoother reunion with detached parts of themselves. All one has to do is stare in the mirror and see that Self which has been cast away. Stare into your own eyes and call them forward and believe me they will come, for the self ever seeks to be reunited with itself.

The way to re-integrate, and to deal with feelings of guilt in general, is to stare at that feeling, that manifestation, in complete and humble honestly. Acknowledge it for all that it is, and let any and all corresponding emotions flow through you as a tide. Don't attempt to grab onto the waves or hold them back. Just let them pass through. If you feel guilty, angry, hurt, etc., let yourself experience those feelings in their fullness. Stare into the eyes of the part of yourself that is hurting, and once the storm has blown through, allow the gentle light of the Creator to fill that gap and mend those wounds. Reach out to yourself in a loving embrace and accept all that you are. Welcome that part of yourself back as it is cleansed in the light of forgiveness. It is an act of ultimate humility and surrender. There is no forcing, only allowing. Simply allow yourself to be, and allow the everlasting Love to be a balm over the wounds that have been created.

Within the past few months my life has done a complete 180, due entirely to the realization of how the projection phenomenon works and how that which is projected may be unified once more. Never before have I felt so full and content. Yes, the process can be painful. Facing parts of the self that have been buried for years is never easy, but the only one who can deny you forgiveness is yourself. The rest of creation is waiting with bated breath to let you onto the bus.

Wow, what an intensely deep and personal, and profound, post, ahktu! Thank you for sharing!

Your experience reminds me of a book I read to my son when he was a pre-teen. It's 'young adult' fiction but OMG it is DEEP! It is about the very thing you just described. A powerfully written book, for anyone of any age.

A Wizard of Earthsea (The Earthsea Cycle, Book 1) by Ursula K. Le Guin
(we got it at the library)