Creating a Shield

[Aaron]

Dear Gemini,

Maybe when you feel yourself opening up and rising into higher states of love and beauty, and then suddenly this darkness comes up, it's like your higher self saying "here's what you need to work on next"? The darkness that holds you back is the darkness that must be integrated and subsequently transformed into something that helps you find the light.

Working with and transforming your inner darkness with love and acceptance is far more potent in terms of spiritual evolution than dealing with the darkness perceived to be outside of you. Not to mention once you've understood even a little bit of your own darkness it's like "Pssh... darkness coming from outside of me? Piece of cake!!"

Back in February, I became aware of a vast amount of power within me. At the time, it was undifferentiated from darkness in my world view, and seemed to come from darkness outside of me. So I thought it was something outside of me. Actually it didn't even breach my conscious mind for three whole months as my personality was rejecting or incompatible with this unintegrated power.

So much rejection for so long eventually built this energy up until it started entering the thought-form level or what have you. Basically, it began to pool together sentience and encroach upon my daily life. With some help (THANK YOU ahktu) I became aware of his presence and was able to completely integrate him. There is no more him, although I could create him again if I wished. There is now only the power that is and has always been a part of my being, whether in potentiation or not. There is the power that has enhanced and defined and empowered and enriched my experience. There is this power that is tempered by my heart. The "plan" was probably to begin integrating that shadow/power exactly at the point where I became aware of it, as it was at that point that I had built up a completely loving, completely accepting (or so I thought) personality for this power to enliven.

But it had gotten to the point where I was shielding and challenging this part of myself that was hounding me! Shielding worked on the effects, not the core presence. And challenging worked, but the challenge had to be upheld.

I became aware of this power when I was doing the channeling sessions with ahktu, and she came up to visit me. We did a session in person. I think this quote from Adam is relevant...

To see the similarities between the two paths and the, shall we say, positive aspects of each, instead of regarding one in adulation and one in fear and repulsion is, in our opinion, a possession of a certain brand of wisdom.