Relationships and Choosing a Partner

[GreatSpirit]

I don't mean to sound very negative, but I refuse to perpetuate my father's side of the family, therefore it is my CHOICE not to have children or get married. I can't say the same for my brother, or my half-brother who is from my dad's first marriage and only saw once.

My dad's side of the family is filled with mental illness and madness. My dad's dad died almost a decade before I was born and from what I've heard of him, I'm glad I never met him. Apparently he was a bad drunk and would beat the crap out of my grandmother. I remember my dad saying he was relieved that he died. Then my cousin told me of a relative who would slit the throats of puppies. Whether that is true, I don't know.

What scares me the most is that me and my brother have very bad tempers so that same genetic line runs through us. I know without a doubt that I am "mentally ill" and perhaps this is the reason I chose him as my father to learn unconditional love and to deal with a bit of madness myself.

I love my father and I have to accept him for who he is, but I will just say he has done some things that can be considered unforgivable and then some. His old landlady told me he is a lost soul and has a negative entity attached to him. It was synchronicity that me and his old land lady met because I was driving around the area to get a haircut one day and I just happened to stop there out of the blue.

What is even stranger about my dad is that he has "Murderers Thumb"