forgiveness, what does it really mean

[Lulu]

When another person is Not what I "expected, or wanted them to be" I have learned that if I apply unconditional love to myself and to them that I am then naturally released from the relationship that is not right for me anyways.

For example, in my long-term relationship, I could no longer trust the masculine energy of my partner. He became wishy-washy in our business dealings. Some of his previous choices were not that wise but he could have learned from then. He could not clearly look at himself or the business. Perhaps this was because he wanted the image of success more than integrity of true success itself.

I expressed myself with as open-heart as I knew how offering my intuitive consultation along all the pitfalls I could see coming, I wanted his success for him too! Eventually I felt the only choice was to step in and apply my own masculine skills to the business in hopes of redeeming it. He resented me terribly and it was not worth my effort. I knew if I continued, in power struggle, we would divorce. It was a no win situation so I exited the company and applied unconditional love to myself, and to him. No longer needing myself to be what I didn't want to be to support his failings nor to want him to be any different then he was. In letting go of the idea of him changing, I was able to stay focused on my own true desires, and not needing those to come "through him". The relationship soon ended as peacefully as is possible because it was without strife for change.

Now I deal with this issue on smaller scale. Who do we allow in our presence? I don't want anyone to change so that I can be more comfortable, I just want to ensure my own comfort. I'm referring to the annoying head-sensations that I get when around those who are stressed out or in anxiety. In the past I wanted to help them. Now I am, in my own unconditional love --wanting them to Get Out of my presense. I'm not going to do their work, they can face themselves and sort through and smell their own garbage.

Learning NOT to reflect others is something I am working on, because it would serve ME better. Telling Ashrim off is still not being in unconditional love to myself. I would be better to simply use my typical tactic of ignoring what I see in others that is not mine. I think I did it because I had just spent a good hour this morning in the presence of one who is projecting stress and anxiety and it was especially horrible feeling because I awakened this morning feeling so refreshed and perfectly amazing. I'm not interested in forgiving that person rather I am nearly feeling it is a better choice TO condemn. This encouraging them TO their own work or to remove themselves from my presence. This is why I have been practicing consuming the anxiety to transmute, so they will stay away from me for fear of facing themselves, and yet feel unconditional love.