12-26-2009, 01:04 PM
Thank you for the words of balance, Ayadew.
I very much appreciate how you drew my attention to the spiritual aspects of this catalyst. Thank you.
I do not enjoy the feelings you described. Awareness of their trap will help us avoid that temptation into negative states ourselves.
Actually my feelings are more of frustration and anger at the unfairness. This is combined with relief that we will soon not have to deal with him any more. Those of us moving out at this time were subject to this kind of destructive behavior throughout our childhoods. So it is a step of growth for us to have anger towards injustice, recognizing it accurately. This is far better than the self-condemnation and confusion we used to have.
We are finally leaving behind the child's view of somehow having brought abuse upon ourselves. The new challenge for us is to appropriate resolve the anger with the actions we can take. We then must let those emotions leave when they no longer empower positive actions. This is indeed a challenge. Last night we got our "emotional reset" so by joining Christmas crowds enjoying the sights. This helped us reconnect with the beauty of the new present moments.
I believe the landlord is lost in unhappiness and addiction. I think he turns to abusive passive-aggression as an attempt to destroy some of his feelings, or to justify his addictions, which in turn also are attempts to destroy emotions he can't welcome. I think he doesn't know how to treat his own emotions and experiences with compassionate, wise balance. I haven't been an addict in the ways he has, but I have struggled with difficult emotions and I can have compassion for his apparent struggle. That is truly a sad existence.
The remaining roommate, who's an abusive alcoholic, shares those struggles with handling his emotions wisely. He and the landlord unfortunately bring out the worst in each other, including raging denial of any problems. I do wish them both well. I sincerely hope they will find the light of love and truth shining in their hearts and minds some day. The sooner the better. And with me as far away as possible until then!
At the same time, I believe the landlord has already destroyed most of his opportunities to have had positive interactions with us. And we do need to not have our physical safety injured for no reason. Unfortunately, we came to conclude that he was so unreasonable that only the threat of official repercussions could get through to him.
By the way, he sent back a one-line email. It simply said, "Have a nice day." We were baffled and asked the Tarot to explain our situation. We got the Victory and Abundance cards. I think the one-line email may have been an attempt to apologize and smooth over the situation. But it was sent by a person who's totally clueless about how to make things right.
We'll be over there in about an hour. The neighbor across the street is letting us park our belongings in her garage until we can get a moving truck. This means only a couple pieces of furniture will remain, along with small odds and ends we need to toss into boxes.
I will seek the light and love present within each moment. It might be that the only light and love the landlord will accept will be to stay out of our way. Or perhaps Heaven can do more than that within his heart. My mission is to focus on the positive outcome: we're out and safe, our belongings are out and safe, and he can choose whatever response to catalyst he wishes without our involvement.
I very much appreciate how you drew my attention to the spiritual aspects of this catalyst. Thank you.
I do not enjoy the feelings you described. Awareness of their trap will help us avoid that temptation into negative states ourselves.
Actually my feelings are more of frustration and anger at the unfairness. This is combined with relief that we will soon not have to deal with him any more. Those of us moving out at this time were subject to this kind of destructive behavior throughout our childhoods. So it is a step of growth for us to have anger towards injustice, recognizing it accurately. This is far better than the self-condemnation and confusion we used to have.
We are finally leaving behind the child's view of somehow having brought abuse upon ourselves. The new challenge for us is to appropriate resolve the anger with the actions we can take. We then must let those emotions leave when they no longer empower positive actions. This is indeed a challenge. Last night we got our "emotional reset" so by joining Christmas crowds enjoying the sights. This helped us reconnect with the beauty of the new present moments.
I believe the landlord is lost in unhappiness and addiction. I think he turns to abusive passive-aggression as an attempt to destroy some of his feelings, or to justify his addictions, which in turn also are attempts to destroy emotions he can't welcome. I think he doesn't know how to treat his own emotions and experiences with compassionate, wise balance. I haven't been an addict in the ways he has, but I have struggled with difficult emotions and I can have compassion for his apparent struggle. That is truly a sad existence.
The remaining roommate, who's an abusive alcoholic, shares those struggles with handling his emotions wisely. He and the landlord unfortunately bring out the worst in each other, including raging denial of any problems. I do wish them both well. I sincerely hope they will find the light of love and truth shining in their hearts and minds some day. The sooner the better. And with me as far away as possible until then!
At the same time, I believe the landlord has already destroyed most of his opportunities to have had positive interactions with us. And we do need to not have our physical safety injured for no reason. Unfortunately, we came to conclude that he was so unreasonable that only the threat of official repercussions could get through to him.
By the way, he sent back a one-line email. It simply said, "Have a nice day." We were baffled and asked the Tarot to explain our situation. We got the Victory and Abundance cards. I think the one-line email may have been an attempt to apologize and smooth over the situation. But it was sent by a person who's totally clueless about how to make things right.
We'll be over there in about an hour. The neighbor across the street is letting us park our belongings in her garage until we can get a moving truck. This means only a couple pieces of furniture will remain, along with small odds and ends we need to toss into boxes.
I will seek the light and love present within each moment. It might be that the only light and love the landlord will accept will be to stay out of our way. Or perhaps Heaven can do more than that within his heart. My mission is to focus on the positive outcome: we're out and safe, our belongings are out and safe, and he can choose whatever response to catalyst he wishes without our involvement.