Story of my Awakening From Day 1

[creationist]

Hah, I don't think one can make any 100% true statement on "how life works". It's just that mysterious! Human psychological momentum sounds like a good way to describe what I observed. In your analogy, my point would have been worded something like: I observe that you were drowning in the negative room, then came up for air in the positive room with such force that you "flew above the surface of the negative ocean" for a few moments, only to come back down to crash below the surface again for a few moments..."

Perhaps for me, it's a bit more controlled than that. Imagine a giant cube of Water that is the chaotic world, held up by a force field that anyone can pass through easily. While it would be possible to stay on the dry side and be at peace, the 'game' of life is in the water cube even if it is tiring and painful comparatively.

Please note that I'm not trying to determine the exact explanations for this, but to find any common truths between different perceptions.

And eventually I think the key is instead of using a higher degree of focus to extend your floating above the surface, you will just equalize. You can't know love, joy, and laughter without their opposites, so once you are balanced, you "float" on the surface, breathing the clean air but knowing your roots in the suffering.

While I'm not certain if equalizing is the exact final destination, if I was to make an analogy towards your theory... it would be like a swimming pool. Having run around in the air, knowing the dryness and crispness of the air... then jumping into the water, knowing the wetness and drag of the water... then eventually floating on your back, with half of you in the water, and half of you in contact with the air.

I'm not sure about the ups and downs of spirituality, but perhaps it's a matter of finding the right set of principles that will allow you to stay positive for a longer period of time, such as letting go of the Ego, and also to macromanage your life, instead of micromanaging it.

I know what you mean and I will agree that there are definitely stages of spiritual growth. After I first started to awaken, I almost subconsciously set a goal for myself, "To be enlightened." Although I understood that to be completely enlightened is a paradox, as you can work towards enlightenment, but you can't attain it because once you are enlightened, there is no you to attain it, I set the goal and worked towards it. Then suddenly, enlightenment wasn't special anymore. My interest in attaining enlightenment dropped off suddenly and I realized I was at the next stage and that the smaller part of me that I associated with in my previous stage, my ego, in a sense had achieved enlightenment.

Agreed, to feel highly enlightened already *might* be a sign of the ego kicking in. Maybe finding the key to the next set of lessons might be part of the graduation to the next level of enlightenment. Hey if it was easy, everyone would be enlightened already.

Now what's next? Giving up current relationships and environment or relinquishing concern with attachments may be part of the answer, but it just as well may not. As much as the logical mind would like it, I don't think there is an answer or formula for awakening. For every person, the path is drastically different. Instead of asking yourself what you need to give up or do next, maybe ask yourself if now is simply the time to wait in joy and peace for the next opportunity to come along. Maybe patience is your next lesson, who knows?

Well I think that the next lesson always come to you, just have to be alert and watch for the subtle signs. I view next lessons like pop quizzes. Before the pop quiz arrives, it would improve your chances if you worked hard on improving oneself, so that you would be better equipped to learn and pass from the pop quiz when it actually comes.

In the bible it says the eyes are the window to the soul. Whatever the original thought behind that saying was, I think it comes from the "jolt" of connection or empathy that we feel if we look into another's eyes. I think that if we make direct eye contact, we are able to pick up SO much body language and emotion from them, so much more than they are saying to us with words, that it cuts straight through their outer shield or personality mask they're wearing. After all, didn't we communicate for many many many years before spoken language was even in the picture? Maybe you can try to use eye contact in conjunction with language to soothingly bring the person you're talking to into the present moment by communicating fully with them, and not just mask to mask. Hmm, I think I'll try to be aware of the way I'm communicating and eye contact from now on. Thanks for allowing me to come to this idea! haha

Actually I already do communicate deeply with people if I can have a moment of peace with them, but I think that it's a matter of me going crazy if I was to connect with everyone constantly. Currently, I do not have a high view of most people in our society... I see so much potential in everyone but I get sickened by people's actions due to what the society has trained them to do. It's like seeing Angels from heaven being held captive with brain control halos, reaping destruction on the earth. I have not discovered the exact reason why I am still trying to avoid eye contact, but *basically* I think it's to avoid my heart from aching. The more spiritual I get, the more sad I get from my daily experiences. I'm not here to get pity, it is the price I willingly paid for my increasing enlightenment.