The undeniable truth of Darkness and STS

[Ankh]

Awesome post, abridgetoofar! Really awesome.

This is what has been bothering me all the time, but I couldn't nail it like you did:

Now, you've admitted that Shin'Ar has accused various members of being STS. Shin'Ar has openly admitted to "trapping" them into revealing themselves and then attempts to discredit those people...consistently saying (in many different words) "it is those who disagree with me that you should be wary of." Shin'Ar was (read, WAS...I understand his moderation notice seems to have been effective), very obviously trying to create an US Vs. THEM dynamic. Warning certain members to beware of other members, especially ones that disagree with him? Essentially what was happening was Shin'Ar would accuse any member who disagreed with him of being STS, and saying that that members words should be discredited because of it.

Shin'Ar, let's start over you and I. Parts of my upbringning were spent in service to self (as it is described by Ra) environment. It of course left marks inside of me, which I ever since have been trying to heal. I am on a good way to heal and understand them, but this takes time. Traps, lies, deception - is something that brings me personal catalysts. I am not going to ask you why you felt an urge to "prove" yourself right to such an extent that you felt forced to take such an action, as it is not important. I want on the other hand thank you for these catalysts. This discord showed me in a very clear way that I am not done with my past, and it pointed me to the specific points, the unhealed wounds, that are in need of healing and understanding.

Monica, I think that I understand how you think and feel in regards to veggies that you sneaked into your son's food, but only reading it, gave me catalysts. Thank you for pointing that out to me too. I have too black and white view about it. In my eyes - lies are lies. Deception is deception. And honesty is honesty. You are saying:

Ankh, it does still seem like you're trying to get me to judge Shin'Ar, because you already know my stance on such issues. You already know that I think any action taken with malicious intent isn't 'ok' for one aspiring to STO. And you already know that I cannot judge the motivation of another person, though I did state that I believe Shin'Ar's intentions to be good, based on what I've read of his posts.

I've heard that during those years. And there was nothing I could say or do to prove that I don't think in the lines like that!! It was never in my mind that I know what the other one thinks and feels. I never think in the lines like that!... I never trap anyone! Not that I am aware of it anyway...

My personal opinion about this situation is to not sweep it under the rug, as abridgetoofar said, not by judging anyone, but by learning.

My suggestion is to stop pointing fingers at others, to stop assuming what the other one thinks, knows and what their opinions are! If everybody could just stop looking around, and look inside themselves instead, this would be a much more harmonious community. And that advice goes to me too. No matter how much I try to learn, and to seek only personal reasons for reacting, again and again - I find myself in the discussions of this sort, due personal issues.

Shin'Ar - I don't know why you felt a need to prove your point, and point fingers at members of this community. To me it doesn't matter whether you call these members STS, or Sons of the Belial, and others STO or Sons of Light - it is still a division of members of this community. And by your own judgement alone you can divide members in two cathegories?

Let's start over and say that all of us are here to seek and study. By doing so we can either serve and aid each other, or we can serve ourselves. The choice is ours.

Peace.