Balancing the Light and the darkness.

[Tenet Nosce]

Honestly, I don't know what the next step is. :/

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I don't know how to change my interests...

Azrael- (Can I still call you that?) What you experience as "you" is only a small sliver of the entirety of your being, which is that of brilliant light and insurmountable love. Beyond this, you carry great wisdom which has been earned at the expense of your own joy. This is a great burden to bear, but it is not one which you carry alone. I, too, know the pain of which you speak.

Have you considered that you are precisely where you need to be, with the exact quality and type of experience which will maximize your propensity to be of service to others?

Have faith in yourself! Your true self! Your "dark side" is an illusion which you masterfully created such that you could learn about negativity without causing any true harm to others. I know it may seem that you have caused harm to others, but that is only because you were so masterful with your illusions. Yet- are you still focused on the illusion? I ask- what Light is shining so brightly so as to cast such a dark shadow upon your mind?

Illusions are as toys for baby souls. You are no baby soul. I call you to cast aside these illusions of darkness, and come to dwell in the fullness of your true self- in the Light and Love which is your true nature and being.

Namaste.