The Quest for a Soulmate

[Monica]

Oceania is going to be looking forever to find a human that will continue to live up to her expectations.

My question to her is what does she intend to do as that person loses their looks with age?

Will she change her expectations as she ages? or will she only remain with a person as long as they meet her expectations?

Call this judging if you want.

I was on the receiving end of that. Despite being pretty, I didn't meet the criteria of an ex-boyfriend in terms of color and shape of certain body parts. :exclamation: Yes that's right, he had a 'preference' for a certain 'exotic' look which I could never live up to, since I was petite and blonde.

I felt judged, belittled, unappreciated, and 'not good enough' and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. Even dying my hair could not turn me into what he wanted.

I have a friend whose husband has a fantasy about Hispanic women. My friend is quite white. She actually dyed her hair black and learned Spanish, in a vain effort to please her husband. It wasn't enough.

It's ironic, Oceania, that you say I am judging you. What I'm really saying is, I think if one wants to attract their soulmate, then judging the physical appearance of prospective mates according to some preset criteria, is in fact judging them.

In my personal opinion, that's not the most effective way to get a 'soulmate' relationship off on a good start. Because, the soulmate might not meet that criteria, and will never measure up.

It doesn't feel good being on the receiving end of that.

Again, just sharing my own experiences, for what it's worth. If this doesn't resonate, which it apparently doesn't, then just discard.