Complementary understanding: a beautiful conversation

[Shin'Ar]

Well herein lies my issue, because of the nature, and wording of many teachings, I have felt lead to believe that enjoyment of the physical state is STS. My whole life I have been incredibly dispositioned towards STO, my family has even said this before that I am always trying to take on everybody's issues, and responsibility for their pains.

I feel like I have become so attached to "the truth", that I have been completely drained of my capacity to enjoy this life. Even things that interest me, I decide those interests based on what I feel is my obligation to "evolve" and to be of complete Service to Others. Even worse, is because of my open perception of my identity, the entirety of Existence seems unenjoyable.

I have been a Creator, I have created universes, managed galaxies, planned planets, I have been an atom, an insect, an animal, a deva, a God, I have been a destroyer, I have walked through the Abyss and the Endless Oblivion, and I have transformed again, and again, and again.

I feel like I have already experienced the entirety of creation, EXCEPT, simply being Human. And now that I am Human, everything presented to me tells me that I am not supposed to be, and that being Human is only a limitation.

Well, f***, I really have no idea where I am then.

Some humans have been evolving from more primitive states. In their consciousness they have not experienced the All or higher being, and so they can relate to this earth in comfort and natural being. They are much like the rabbit hound that has spent its entire life in a cage except when it is taken out to hunt. It has no experience or memory of laying before the fireplace with its masters. And so it cannot miss such experience or even imagine it.

Some have evolved through a long process of slowly becoming aware of their inner spirit and the processes of religion and secret teachings have brought them to higher understandings and closer to their higher being and transcendance.

Other consciousnesses however have been in other experiences and have subliminal memories and share in other fields of experiences and consciousnesses. And this causes them to miss the higher things of existence and to feel trapped in this one. They have been with the Masters and been to the higher places.

You, Azrael are one of these. You have the understanding knowledge of the Ancients stored deep into your consciousness. You long for things that you cannot explain or comprehend. All you know is the longing and the out of place experience.

Did you come here long ago as a higher being and become trapped in this density losing the knowledge to escape it?

Did you come here long ago and choose to remain?

Have you ascended and returned here deliberately with a heart and desire to lead others out of this darkness, and are still struggling with that identity?