Complementary understanding: a beautiful conversation

[Unbound]

Well herein lies my issue, because of the nature, and wording of many teachings, I have felt lead to believe that enjoyment of the physical state is STS. My whole life I have been incredibly dispositioned towards STO, my family has even said this before that I am always trying to take on everybody's issues, and responsibility for their pains.

I feel like I have become so attached to "the truth", that I have been completely drained of my capacity to enjoy this life. Even things that interest me, I decide those interests based on what I feel is my obligation to "evolve" and to be of complete Service to Others. Even worse, is because of my open perception of my identity, the entirety of Existence seems unenjoyable.

I have been a Creator, I have created universes, managed galaxies, planned planets, I have been an atom, an insect, an animal, a deva, a God, I have been a destroyer, I have walked through the Abyss and the Endless Oblivion, and I have transformed again, and again, and again.

I feel like I have already experienced the entirety of creation, EXCEPT, simply being Human. And now that I am Human, everything presented to me tells me that I am not supposed to be, and that being Human is only a limitation.

Well, f***, I really have no idea where I am then.