Since I've read the Ra texts, I have had one very mystical experience, a ton of coincidences that either saved me from more trouble or signified something I was looking for (half of those confirmations, i'll say, were true and not imagined by my own bias), got me in touch with my psychic side, which proved to be on and off effective, so, pretty much worthless, led me to believe I had found my soulmate, and that she was psychic too, and we were communicating in very subtle ways in person and sometimes by thought over a distance. by thinking i was learning something this whole time, instead of working on my 3rd chakra and loving myself, i fell in love with a girl that threw me in jail. holy sh*t, I just don't know anymore.
have gone through serious depression because of all of this. have also become noticeably more "wise" to other people, became the jesus kid who knows everything. load of bollocks. all of this is so up and down, i'm just a human. i believe in the spiritual world, and that we have purpose and that there are not supposed to be any coincidences, but that must mean i've been dealing with a lot of liars, because, damn.
before all of this, my spirit was flowing through me fine. i was asleep you could say, but i have damn good memories, and i had damn good experiences and pleasures back before i knew about chakras and believing and asking god/universe for signs and miracles.
so yeah, i've been depressed because none of this has led to anything grounding or consistent. my life has been topsy-turvy and i still feel like i'm wandering! ok. i'm just a bit angry right now because i'm sick of all the depression this has caused me, but seriously, we're evolving, and these new lessons and desires for experience we can't enjoy in these bodies!
LOL i was too stupid back then to fear. i learned what fear was by acknowledging i loved someone. personal love. ever since then... i have to consciously work at not being scared. my thoughts scare me now. i can't trust my thoughts anymore. i fell in LOVE, and i thought she loved me too.
nope. sorry god, or sorry her, or sorry me. i don't know WHAT the hell happened, but spiritual awareness has at best fed my curiousity. do i fear physical death anymore? no. am I happy? no.
have gone through serious depression because of all of this. have also become noticeably more "wise" to other people, became the jesus kid who knows everything. load of bollocks. all of this is so up and down, i'm just a human. i believe in the spiritual world, and that we have purpose and that there are not supposed to be any coincidences, but that must mean i've been dealing with a lot of liars, because, damn.
before all of this, my spirit was flowing through me fine. i was asleep you could say, but i have damn good memories, and i had damn good experiences and pleasures back before i knew about chakras and believing and asking god/universe for signs and miracles.
so yeah, i've been depressed because none of this has led to anything grounding or consistent. my life has been topsy-turvy and i still feel like i'm wandering! ok. i'm just a bit angry right now because i'm sick of all the depression this has caused me, but seriously, we're evolving, and these new lessons and desires for experience we can't enjoy in these bodies!
LOL i was too stupid back then to fear. i learned what fear was by acknowledging i loved someone. personal love. ever since then... i have to consciously work at not being scared. my thoughts scare me now. i can't trust my thoughts anymore. i fell in LOVE, and i thought she loved me too.
nope. sorry god, or sorry her, or sorry me. i don't know WHAT the hell happened, but spiritual awareness has at best fed my curiousity. do i fear physical death anymore? no. am I happy? no.