Suicide

[Plenum]

probably once seriously in my life. I had it all planned too; slashing of wrists in bathtub. It came when I was in a financially vulnerable position, and I couldn't see how I was going to move forward.

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in the end, the tears I shed for those that would be left behind(I'm taking my parents, brother and sister, best friend) rather than myself ceased that course of action.

this was not mild suicidal thoughts; they were plans in motion for the best part of 10 hours, which doesn't sound like much, but it was REAL and had the full INTENTION of follow-through.

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that's the only time in my life. I've suffered depression and anxiety too; and wanted it all to stop, but never to the level of planning stage. That's the one time.

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you might say that my STO instincts kicked in, and I could not do that to my loved ones, and the ones who had cherished me so long in life.

suicide is a spiritually fraught topic. For many years I searched for information regarding the karmic consequences. The most information I found was this:

you get sent back to 3d experience to relearn your lessons. No punshment as such.