Ok, I never thought I'd consider this, but... (Masonry)

[Gribbons]

what mantras do you use, if i can ask? i like om mani padme hum and gayatri mantra,

I guess it's not really a mantra. I just keep repeating 'love' in my head and focused on it as best as I could. It really worked for me as it dug out a lot of unworthiness, questions, experiences that got me into this hole. Doing this actually got me back outside to meditate again on a guy I never really liked. He's the boyfriend of the girl I've been in love with (she had a crush on me at one time, but, long story, and it doesn't mean anything anymore. i'm actually hoping for an explanation in a dream, because a lot of it doesn't make sense and i think she was leading me on..) but i digress, i've never wanted to take him into heart, so i meditated on his name and found i actually do like the guy, and love him, because he loves the girl I love, and if she's happy, then I guess I'm happy too. as long as she's protected and loved, that's all i can ask for really.

its only day one though. i'm sure i'll dig up more stuff tomorrow, but i feel a little bit better honestly.

The point is to anchor light, and the funny thing is many find that being an anchor sets you aside from other spiritual individuals. I have meant many who I consider close but no one on a day to day basis. Because we are to be spread out over the planet, to anchor in the ascension light. I think you are part of something bigger that your higher self is over seeing.

thank you for this. i do feel, while i probably had karma with this guy that led me to leave the university, i feel i probably have something to do here. i wasn't of much use up there, ya know? not a lot of people liked me outside of the classroom. and perhaps the degree won't mean as much in the near future... i felt the place was caving in on me. i wish i had meditated more, but honestly, i was too close to the source of my drama to deal with it level-headedly. i was very up and down. very loving this minute, angry and in a bad mood the next. it's kind of sad really. but, i say i was following my heart, and its not like i just imagined this whole thing and this girl liking me, even just a little bit, but it wasn't meant to be, so that's why i'm down here with my family again most likely.

Those that have twin flames are already One in the higher self.

Like they've already resolved their karma and are at peace/one with themselves, thus capable of seeing/meeting/supporting their twin flames? or something else..? cause i had a lot of faith this girl and i were going to work out, and there were some pretty weird and unlikely coincidences putting us together at times, but it seems that isn't everything, or even signs even. /endquasicynicism

i'm trying to contact my higher self. haven't tried real hard, but i try to hold onto a question as i'm going to bed, hoping i get some kind of answer. any suggestions? i need to know if i went wrong in my pursuit for this girl or if i'm down here for some bigger purpose...ah forget it, i was wrong. i just want to know why i was led to believe things would work out better than this.