Hi

[Cyan]

Very good reply, thank you. I will go through it step by step.

I try to avoid telling people specifically what to do to allow for free will and growth, but I would like to point out that you may want to meditate / contemplate if this behavior is is helpful for other or hurtful. Punishing yourself when you understood the lesson in the whatever negative things you have done is like the opposite of masturbation to put it quite bluntly. If you understood you did something negative, you must also forgive yourself to move on. There is no rush to do this if you are not ready, but punishing yourself may lead to polarize yourself negatively.

True. I have always avoided telling them what to do, instead I prefer to preface everything with "were I you, I would probably do X Though as it is your life it is your option to do as you wish"

You see, I feel that the best way I can help people is to reflect my thoughts clearly and explain my position clearly. But not to seek direct control unless pushed upon me, and even then my feeling is to return it as quickly as is possible as controlling others is a drag.

I feel it is best if I clarify what I mean by "fucking with my mind"

When a person is deeply enough in a very specific very narrow mindset, taking their mind and forcing it to a new vibration is the only way to get them to think in a new pattern.

Doing this AGAINST the will of the person is a very very big no no, it causes massive karma backlash and usually ends with me getting into a accident, proportional in severity to the force with which i went through someone elses will. So, i dont do it.

However, if a person comes to me, as a "please get me to change my mind since my present mindset is hurting me" I explain clearly and calmly that to do so is almost always painful, as the human mind resists change inherantly, even when the change is known to be positive. It is similar to a broken arm that must be "pulled" back into place.

It hurts like something out of t his world but afterwards you always feel so much better.

But since the few days/hours when the change is happening are nauseatingly difficult to bear, it is termed "fucking with someones mind"

The difference between doing it agaisnt someones will and with someones permission is the same as the difference between rape, and consentual lovemaking.

As it is something that this society frowns upon in general, trying to influence others as if everyone did it, we would all be so much better as people. But if only the people in power do it, through their powerchannels, no one gets any chance to develope themselves or the communities around them.

I feel that Guiding each other is the best thing we can do. We usually lie to ourselves about ourselves and less so about things that annoy us about others.

I am, even though my wording might sound off, intensly happy about what is going on with me.

I have intently and deliberately sought shamans, good company, and health for a while now. After i decided to bail from my "work" which involved politics and the media, and as you can imagine, it is a rather dark company to keep.

So. I am glad that my karma has been coming back at such tremendous rate, and that i have been able to transform most, if not all, of it to entirely self positive things.

I'm glad is what I am, its hard work but darn rewarding.

Do not despair, you are not alone by a long shot and you are loved, trust me on that point. I feel almost exactly like this and am only a year younger than you. I feel like everything on up until I awoke recently was just figuring out the game that was being played on me. That is how I would paraphrase it for myself. I tell you this, not out of ego for myself, but to try to confirm/validate a similar feeling that is(may be) inside you.

Thanks. I think alot of people feel the same way. I'm trying to explain that I always saw the game, but i saw no way out of the game, until now. And now that I have the window of "Bolt from your faulty view using this window" I'm bailing from my life and making a run for the hills!

Again I feel similarly minus the part about wanting to go up to random people unless I know specifically what the perfect thing to say is since I have had difficulty with small talk lately. I will just randomly give people things as well, most scratching their heads and not understanding why I didn't keep it for myself or sell it. I dream of doing so much more, but also fear social outcry against me doing that alone.

Maybe we should come up with some petition or something or come up with specific (positively oriented) projects that several of us can work on so we don't feel so singled out trying to change the whole world.

I no longer try to change the world, the world is doing just fine, to quote George Carlin. I'm trying to change myself, and only myself, so that I might no longer be a drag on the energies of the earth in any way shape or form. After that I will try to get others to be as happy as they can be, and no longer a drag on anyone else. And that is the whole of what I try to do from now on.

Towards that end I am participating in communal projets where I know exactly what my benefits will be energetically and what the downsides will be. I am slowly removing people and instances from my life that "drag" me. Including donating all of my STS-oriented books such as Donald Duck comics to charity or friends. The stories in them resonate with such violence and negative archtypes that I feel I can no longer sit in the same appartment with them.

That being said, if someone else wants them, i give them away for free. I've also donated items of clothes and a few other things. It is not because I want to "be good" as a abstract direction to move into. It is because I dont want the "drag" on my field that the possession of such items would cause/does cause.

Might be interesting if we would post a empty 1000x1000 picture and everyone in turn paints something as large or as small as they want onto the picture and then everyone else adds something one by one in turn.

So, someone posts a 1000x1000 picture and adds the first shape. Asks someone else to calll turns and then add something else to the image, and so on. Until the final product would be a shared artistic creation.

I have a tendency to do this to myself occasionally also when I have had a try or two at something and am still having difficulties. I have been able to "tag" this emotional "baggage" (thank you Psychonauts ), then consider if it is valuable to me and by extension how efficiently / without distortion I can service others.

After some soul searching i realised that the reason I became angry was that I was trying to "buy" affection with them as a present and felt it was the wrong thing to do but didnt know it. So it took me a while but after i searched my conciousness enough I realised why I became angry, and just laughed at it all.

I agree with your view on authority nearly perfectly. I also agree that we must always think for ourselves and must avoid mindlessly idolizing or mimicking as you say.

Good, we agree

I agree with you on up until the point that you say you desired it. I am not judging, it was your freewill/perogative to have wanted it at that time. My reasons were to try to sort of "prop up" all the failing adult relationships I saw everywhere in my family. It then transformed into having friends in all manners of personality / "cliques", which led to some of my friends hating my other friends.

Then endlessly (going to this day between my wife and my best friend and his wife) trying to have them "make up" enough to tolerate each other. When this failed after years of trying, I just started to avoid mentioning the offending party. I still have to be very careful what I say in front of them (slave to language / posturing). Being bitten by my own proverbial snake and then the teachings of the LOO reinforced not seeking to control against the will of others, which almost always leads to negativity.

After a fairly long time trying to help people. I have decided that the best way to help anyone, for any reason. Is simply be yourself and let those that want to be with you approach you, and just ignore everyone else.

Afterwards i lost a great portion of my social connections but the remaining ones are true ones. That is, not "Me>mask>socialsituation<mask<them" but "Me>known mask><known mask>them"

so the actions of others are both known and accepted by me as being part of their mask self, and my actions are known and accepted by others as being part of my mask self.

So, my friends and I are both masks, but we accept it as such and we both directly influence each others masks, not the social situation through some form of communal pressure. No pressure is exerted, only direct honesty and sometimes, direct conflict. It seems to work, and everyone is more themselves and happier