12-18-2011, 07:08 AM
I think I now understand it better.
I made a choice last night to be what I want to be regardless of how it might be viewed by others. Then I proceeded to lie down and imagine what I would do if I had "absolute power" as such fantasies usually reveal most about people, power corrupts and all that. What would my "corruption" be.
And I pictured myself creating an universe from nothingness, then splitting small shards of myself to create a universe on my term and gift them with life and attaching the entities to the physical world and then separating them from me, even though they are completely the same as me. Then I would move between entities, becoming one entity at one time and then another at another time. It would be my creation. I would then ask STO entities to protect me and my creation from others. Then I would ask purely STO oriented entities to play in my world with me.
Then i thought back to my childhood and youth. I have always had a purely selfish desire, but the content of that desire has always been to provide others with the highest amount of pleasure and joy that is possible for me to generate, regardless of how much I might suffer or not.
Then i realised, that this level is a STS oriented black hole like structure, where simply saying "Hi, I see what you are doing there, I'll play with you and give you a playing partner so both will enjoy it more!" will lead to pain and suffering, the reason for that is that this is a historically STS oriented world.
Now, nothing is wrong with the desire to offer a canvas to others and let them paint with "me". What this world does is that it is an incredibly good reflective surface, if you are unable to channel it from the self, you will simply put two creatures next to each other and they will rapidly reflect off of each other until they are both incredibly disoriented and nauseous.
But. If you change that in the following pattern.
"Hi, My name is (illusionary concept of self), I want (illusionary concept of a self that has desires) to do **** (illusionary desire arising from the self) with you (Illusionary concept of the other self). Would you like to share your illusionary concept with me for a moment, it seems like fun!"
It is effectively the same thing, except that you acknowledge that the world itself is an illusionary concept. And that being born here you live on the terms of this world and you can not use your own sense of "that is STS and that is STO" because it no longer applies here as both actions are entirely impossible on this level until you gain a new balance.
So, we are all STS primarily, especially all those who are awaken. But what happens then is what you do with your knowledge of self centered soul powers.
I choose to, and have always chosen to, give as many people as much pleasure and joy as they want in specifically the way they want. It is my selfish desire and i choose to use this self centered world to improve that.
And there is my understanding of STO and STS. That to be STO when you start in a STS-Candidate world you must accept the rules of the world and use those rules to express your love and heart. If your heart says "i want to hug others and give them all kinds of nice and joy" then you are STO and it is good. If it says "I want to rip from others and curse them all kinds of pain and misery" then you are STS and it is good.
For me, being alone is never really all that much fun, but i have trouble finding the people i can be positive with and not have to shield my heart from them because of their inability to control themselves. Which is always just a reflection of my inability to control myself.
My purpose for being here is to learn how to accept the illusion that is the existence of the self. And from that to attempt to ascend to 8th Directly, as alluded to in the Ra material Might fail but at least it will provide all you fellas with a spectacular show if it works the way I feel it might
I made a choice last night to be what I want to be regardless of how it might be viewed by others. Then I proceeded to lie down and imagine what I would do if I had "absolute power" as such fantasies usually reveal most about people, power corrupts and all that. What would my "corruption" be.
And I pictured myself creating an universe from nothingness, then splitting small shards of myself to create a universe on my term and gift them with life and attaching the entities to the physical world and then separating them from me, even though they are completely the same as me. Then I would move between entities, becoming one entity at one time and then another at another time. It would be my creation. I would then ask STO entities to protect me and my creation from others. Then I would ask purely STO oriented entities to play in my world with me.
Then i thought back to my childhood and youth. I have always had a purely selfish desire, but the content of that desire has always been to provide others with the highest amount of pleasure and joy that is possible for me to generate, regardless of how much I might suffer or not.
Then i realised, that this level is a STS oriented black hole like structure, where simply saying "Hi, I see what you are doing there, I'll play with you and give you a playing partner so both will enjoy it more!" will lead to pain and suffering, the reason for that is that this is a historically STS oriented world.
Now, nothing is wrong with the desire to offer a canvas to others and let them paint with "me". What this world does is that it is an incredibly good reflective surface, if you are unable to channel it from the self, you will simply put two creatures next to each other and they will rapidly reflect off of each other until they are both incredibly disoriented and nauseous.
But. If you change that in the following pattern.
"Hi, My name is (illusionary concept of self), I want (illusionary concept of a self that has desires) to do **** (illusionary desire arising from the self) with you (Illusionary concept of the other self). Would you like to share your illusionary concept with me for a moment, it seems like fun!"
It is effectively the same thing, except that you acknowledge that the world itself is an illusionary concept. And that being born here you live on the terms of this world and you can not use your own sense of "that is STS and that is STO" because it no longer applies here as both actions are entirely impossible on this level until you gain a new balance.
So, we are all STS primarily, especially all those who are awaken. But what happens then is what you do with your knowledge of self centered soul powers.
I choose to, and have always chosen to, give as many people as much pleasure and joy as they want in specifically the way they want. It is my selfish desire and i choose to use this self centered world to improve that.
And there is my understanding of STO and STS. That to be STO when you start in a STS-Candidate world you must accept the rules of the world and use those rules to express your love and heart. If your heart says "i want to hug others and give them all kinds of nice and joy" then you are STO and it is good. If it says "I want to rip from others and curse them all kinds of pain and misery" then you are STS and it is good.
For me, being alone is never really all that much fun, but i have trouble finding the people i can be positive with and not have to shield my heart from them because of their inability to control themselves. Which is always just a reflection of my inability to control myself.
My purpose for being here is to learn how to accept the illusion that is the existence of the self. And from that to attempt to ascend to 8th Directly, as alluded to in the Ra material Might fail but at least it will provide all you fellas with a spectacular show if it works the way I feel it might