11-27-2011, 11:11 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2011, 11:23 PM by Sagittarius.)
(11-27-2011, 10:54 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: Yeah, in teaching what I'm learning, just think how I felt when I spent some 200+ hours making this creation within me as beautiful as I could, and then realizing I violated everyone in it's free will. Then knowing I'd have to live in this creation I made, knowing I had violated their free will, and watching things manifest in the world around me that "proved" to myself that it was really happening.
Talk about freak out, thinking that it's all my fault that the world is now heading negative. This is how my mind tells stories. Even the music I've heard recently has been dark and scary.
Like you, I am able to hold the love in my heart despite the darkness around me. So I do feel I've been offering a service. Part of this was accepting I was headed to a "negative place." Though that was all part of the story.
I wish I had happiness to spread around. It's been exhausting.
Indeed, I'am looking forward to the moment I snap out of this with the inevitable click of the epiphany inside. Going to be a good gym session today that's for sure.
No doubt this dark phase will pass Conifer. I just feel like my halo is choking me atm hehe.