(01-14-2009, 03:39 PM)liferiver36 Wrote: Thank you for your response, about the psychic attack, that is somewhat in the realm of what i'm talking about. Lets say i'm feeling really good and synchronicties are happening all pointing towards positive, then one of my friends will call or email me and want me to do something "bad" or illegal that i used to take part in. I know they are not on the spiritual path at all and may just be at the will of lower energies. But it seems as though when things are going good there is always some sort of "devil" influence that comes about. I have been into the music "scene" and have just started to stray away from it after a very frightening and negative experience that i had at a concert. Since then with a different perspective on things, when i am feeling at peace, the people associated with the music scene, or drug scene seem to want me back at the level i was previously at, not too long ago. I'm on the path of no drugs, even though drugs are what led me to the spirit. Also might need a whole nother topic for this, after becoming sober(marijuana, mdma, lsd, etc) I have an explosion of psychic feelings and i experience deja vu more than not experiencing it. When i do get calls from people that i would deem negative it's as though i know it when the phone rings who its going to be and what they want etc.
Any insights would be lovely!
Thank you all so much
Ah, thanks for the clarification!
I can totally relate! I was very heavily into the heavy metal music scene/drug scene in the late 70s, and I too had a spiritual awakening which led me away from it. And I too found it difficult, since so many of my friends were wrapped up in it. What was once considered such a benign pastime and conducive to social interactions (getting high/wasted) became an issue of much conflict and stress for me, for awhile as I went thru the transition.
I had begun meditating, fasting, practicing yoga, living on sprouts, etc., pretty much an ascetic path...and then my friends would call and it would instantly transport me back to a whole 'nother mindset/reality. I even became confused about my music...after all, weren't the guys in Led Zeppelin satanic? There were satanic curses if you played the music backwards, right?
In panic, I sold nearly all my albums - and I had quite a collection! About 2000 albums of treasured vinyl, some of them rare collectors' items, never to be found again. (This was before the invention of the CD or music downloads!)
I then lived in a cocoon, musically, for about 12 years. I totally missed the 80s! (OMG Metallica! I missed Metallica!)
During this time, I did a lot of worthwhile things...including reading the LOO. It only took a few months to clear my head of the drug influence...and yes I backslid a few times...and each time I did, I marveled at how I used to think getting high was fun! It was a downer compared to the blissful clarity of meditation!
I also got a bit smug during this time... a bit holier-than-thow. I discarded my old party friends because they were just soooo uncool.
But then, about 12 years ago, I got caught without my usual Kitaro/Vangelis/Enya music and forced to turn on the radio...and heard - HORRORS! - a Supertramp song. Nothing heavy, just good prog rock.
I realized how much I missed my music!
I had come full circle. I was now able to enjoy music - even heavy metal - and appreciate it for what it was, without letting it suck me into a downward spiral of negativity. But, I had also become more discriminating...I will not tolerate something truly discordant or hateful. I just don't want that vibration in my life!
I have reconnected with some of my old friends...some of them, now in their 50s, still get high! And guess what, I don't care! That's their thing, and if it mellows them out, who am I to judge? I only know that it was no longer for me, I have not been tempted to indulge for 25 years now, and...I can now accept them with complete love, and without the self-righteousness I felt towards them when I first was getting clean.
This is the process I went thru. Perhaps your process will be different. But maybe some of my experience might be useful to you in some way.
For me, I had to get past the phase of thinking that stuff was 'evil' in order to truly be free of it. I no longer think Jimmy Page is a satanist. You know who I think is a satanist? Anyone who controls/dominates another. For now I have a better understanding of what 'evil' truly is! And it has nothing to do with what kind of music you listen to or whether you get high or not, or whether you have a pentagram tattoo.
The LOO helped me to understand the characteristics of the STS and STO paths. I know people who have lots of tattoos, get high, and listen to the heaviest music imaginable (that would make Black Sabbath sound like pop), and they are really, really nice people.
And I've met people who are all clean cut, go to church, maybe even are pastors of a church, who make my skin crawl (at least until I remember that they too serve the Creator, and extend love to them).
What matters is the heart.
It may be that it's no longer appropriate for you to listen to that music, do drugs, or be part of that whole scene. It might be keeping you asleep, and by leaving it, you will find direction in your path. I commend you for that!
I know I had to leave it. And yet, I have fond memories of going backstage and meeting Judas Priest, Scorpions, UFO, etc. (Gosh, those bands are so tame compared to what's out there today!) That phase of my life was an important part of my unfolding...it helped make me who I am today. I do not regret it.
I was able to leave it, then later be able to enjoy aspects of it (some of the music) without getting caught up in the scene again. Maybe you will do the same...or maybe you will decide to separate from it altogether. That is something you will have to decide for yourself.
I also realized that a lot of the symbols (like the pentagram) that I once thought were satanic, were twisted and perverted by STS entities who instilled fear in their followers. The pentagram, for example, is a powerful symbol, but a lot of people mistakenly associate it with evil. So rock stars get pentagrams tattooed on their bodies because they think it makes them look cool...In other words, evil! They think looking 'evil' is cool! Actually, the joke's on them!
Whereas I was confused about that when I was going thru my process of disassociation from them, I now look at them with amusement. I know what the pentagram really is, so seeing it tattooed on someone's arm does not frighten me. I am actually rather amused by it, and saddened at the same time.
My suggestion is to keep meditating and asking for your own personal guidance. What is appropriate for another might not be appropriate for you. I have a friend who did a sweat lodge with some Native American elders, used peyote ceremoniously, and had an intense spiritual experience that changed her life dramatically, for the good. There is a huge difference between that and just getting wasted on the weekend, ie. partying. Perhaps that is the real issue with that whole scene - they have taken tools (like the pentagram) and substances (weed, etc.) which could be used for good when treated with respect, and they have profaned them.
I would also rejoice at the gifts you have received in terms of psychic abilities and awakening. I once read in Linda Goodman's "Love Signs" book (in the Taurus-Taurus section I think it was) that hallucinogens can often serve the purpose of activating the pineal gland (3rd eye chakra) which can be a wonderful thing, but the mistake people often make is to continue using the drugs once they've been awakened...that is like using crutches after the broken leg has healed up...what will happen if you use crutches when both legs are fine? The legs will atrophy! So too with the 3rd eye...continued use of the drugs can cause the 3rd eye to either atrophy or, according to some, get locked in the 'open' position. In other words, rather than a natural, organic process of it opening according to what the person is ready for, it can get hardened and lose its ability to naturally adapt to the person's spiritual unfoldment. There is no question that my use of hallucinogens 30 years ago had a positive impact in my spirituality...but there is also no question that I would be pretty messed up right now if I had not stopped when I did. (That's just my take on it, For what it's worth...others might disagree.)
I sometimes think that I came from those roots because now maybe I can shine a little light in those dark places. I had to get to the point where it no longer bothered me to be in that place or around those people or that music. (Have you heard the new Judas Priest album? It's awesome!) But there are still some places where I will not go. (I won't mention any names, but suffice to say, some of the more recent metal bands really are quite dark...in the real sense, not just for show.) Those places are not for me. Maybe others can go there, but I can't or won't. Only you can decide for yourself what you are comfortable with. My advice is: If you are uncomfortable, listen to your guidance and leave. If you think being around your old friends will suck you back into that space that you no longer wish to be a part of, then graciously wish them well but politely decline. You'll find that the UniVerse will send new friends who will better reflect your new choices.
Well I hope some of this rambling might be of use to you. If not, just discard! And best wishes on your journey! ROCK ON! (there are lots of ways to Rock!)
