Wow... Thank you all, I wasnt expecting that kind of response that fast, hehe. I will not fear... I have been aware of the negative effects fear can have on you since I was a child. Plus I have the litany against fear(from the Dune series) as a back up . =O)
And Im not so much "worried" as I was before about the ones I love graduating, because I have accepted that they may not be ready for harvest. It would be NICE if they did come with, though =O)
More specific problem Im having with the people close to me: I used to share everything and talk about everything I was working on or simply consuming (such as a tv series of movie or game or other hobby), but now... I fell conspicuously silent for months now. I hardly know what to say to my wife... whom I get along with moderately well (talk of getting back together possibly). But I just... I used to blab non-stop about everything to her especially... Now I dont know what to talk about, because everything on my mind lately has been related to this... I have had little time for other pursuits. She would not be open to talking about any of this... Im almost sure (she really hates it when we are talking about something she doesnt want talk about, and she avoids it all costs). So things are awkward between us and seemed to have stalled partially because of my near-silence.
I dont think there is a turn-key fix to this, so I will just continue trying to get used to keeping a secret for the first time in my life (not talking about my discoveries, as they wouldnt understand).
BTW, A huge source of my awakening (I credit almost half) was music/culture. More specifically, the "Rated R" album by Queens of the Stone age was when I really got the message. Others that may be more or less obvious: The "Superunknown" album by Soundgarden (esp. "Fresh Tendrils"), and of course pretty much all the music of Tool.
And Im not so much "worried" as I was before about the ones I love graduating, because I have accepted that they may not be ready for harvest. It would be NICE if they did come with, though =O)
(11-04-2011, 08:59 AM)zack231 Wrote: ...They just switch of and say they don't really care or get really awkward or even angry at me for talking about intellectual topics and tell me I should not have such strong views..This has happened to me more times than I can count =O) It feels good to know I am not alone in these specific type of struggles. It has been most frustrating to have so many never listen to me.
More specific problem Im having with the people close to me: I used to share everything and talk about everything I was working on or simply consuming (such as a tv series of movie or game or other hobby), but now... I fell conspicuously silent for months now. I hardly know what to say to my wife... whom I get along with moderately well (talk of getting back together possibly). But I just... I used to blab non-stop about everything to her especially... Now I dont know what to talk about, because everything on my mind lately has been related to this... I have had little time for other pursuits. She would not be open to talking about any of this... Im almost sure (she really hates it when we are talking about something she doesnt want talk about, and she avoids it all costs). So things are awkward between us and seemed to have stalled partially because of my near-silence.
I dont think there is a turn-key fix to this, so I will just continue trying to get used to keeping a secret for the first time in my life (not talking about my discoveries, as they wouldnt understand).
BTW, A huge source of my awakening (I credit almost half) was music/culture. More specifically, the "Rated R" album by Queens of the Stone age was when I really got the message. Others that may be more or less obvious: The "Superunknown" album by Soundgarden (esp. "Fresh Tendrils"), and of course pretty much all the music of Tool.