09-08-2011, 10:09 PM
May I add to yossarian's good advice.
Currently you seem to feel quite powerless. You can use this feeling. It's only a hop towards surrender. Surrender to the Infinite One or Christ Consciousness. Just lie down in bed and intensify the feeling of powerlessness and despair. Wallow a bit in it and then say something like 'I now surrender all my sorrows and despair to you, Infinite One! I surrender myself to you!' Maybe you will feel instantly relieved, maybe nothing's changed within you - anyway just imagine that lots of dark energies leave your body. Concentrate on these. Probably you will cry. Just let it all out till you're totally exhausted and fall asleep.
Trust, that you are under God's Guidance now. You needn't do anything until you get a hunch or a synchronicity occurs. If fear, despair, anger, or whatever that bugs you comes up, do the same. Surrender it to the Infinte One. Don't wallow in it or dispel it -- surrender it! Do it as soon as you become aware of it.
So much for first aid.
Though my circumstances where never as dire as yours I once was also very much in despair and contemplating suicide. I was an agnostic then and just asked 'If there is a god -- help me, please.' (The above is just a bit more sophisticated
)
Shortly after this I stumbled over a book that was the first step towards my awakening.
The Power of 'Negative' Thinking by Tony Humphreys Humphreys states in it that 'negative' thinking is a kind of mental protection and *surprise, surprise* Unconditional (Self)Love can heal you. He helps heavily abused people who feel unable to love themselves mainly by hugging them and totally accepting and loving them unconditionally. Something most of his clients never experienced in their lives.
If you like, I can scan it and send you a download link. Just PM me.
There is more you can do to help yourself but for the beginning that should suffice.
May the Infinite One show you his profound Grace!
Sunny Love,
foolosopher
Currently you seem to feel quite powerless. You can use this feeling. It's only a hop towards surrender. Surrender to the Infinite One or Christ Consciousness. Just lie down in bed and intensify the feeling of powerlessness and despair. Wallow a bit in it and then say something like 'I now surrender all my sorrows and despair to you, Infinite One! I surrender myself to you!' Maybe you will feel instantly relieved, maybe nothing's changed within you - anyway just imagine that lots of dark energies leave your body. Concentrate on these. Probably you will cry. Just let it all out till you're totally exhausted and fall asleep.
Trust, that you are under God's Guidance now. You needn't do anything until you get a hunch or a synchronicity occurs. If fear, despair, anger, or whatever that bugs you comes up, do the same. Surrender it to the Infinte One. Don't wallow in it or dispel it -- surrender it! Do it as soon as you become aware of it.
So much for first aid.
Though my circumstances where never as dire as yours I once was also very much in despair and contemplating suicide. I was an agnostic then and just asked 'If there is a god -- help me, please.' (The above is just a bit more sophisticated
)Shortly after this I stumbled over a book that was the first step towards my awakening.
The Power of 'Negative' Thinking by Tony Humphreys Humphreys states in it that 'negative' thinking is a kind of mental protection and *surprise, surprise* Unconditional (Self)Love can heal you. He helps heavily abused people who feel unable to love themselves mainly by hugging them and totally accepting and loving them unconditionally. Something most of his clients never experienced in their lives.
If you like, I can scan it and send you a download link. Just PM me.
There is more you can do to help yourself but for the beginning that should suffice.
May the Infinite One show you his profound Grace!
Sunny Love,
foolosopher
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