How do you deal with "home"-sickness?

[StormShadow]

I'm currently swinging in and out of short, acute depressive episodes, and when I analyze them I keep coming back to this ideal vision of me, living in a big red brick house with all my friends and family, studying, talking, learning from each other and just enjoying each others' company while the snow falls and accumulates outside. I've been there in dreams and met people whose love for me made me regret waking up. It crushes me that I can't have this. It crushes me that humans choose to live as separately as they do. I am currently saving all the money I can just so I can have this someday, and it breaks my heart that I probably won't realize my vision for decades, if ever.

I reassure myself that I may be able to create this without money once I've passed, but that just feels like a cop-out. I want to be Home now. I don't want to be distant from the people I love. But that's not how this place works. Anybody else want to talk about homesickness? If you have it at all? How you deal with it?