Why do wanderers have low self-esteem

[StormShadow]

And when others and self can not be accepted, there must be a projection put in place in the meantime. When this projection ultimately fails, there will be disappointment and anger - and the cycle continues, on and on.

Jesus. This is the deepest and most insightful thing I've read all week.

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Ra said that STO Wanderers are vulnerable to being caught up in 3D craziness and lose polarity. Too much self-esteem can make me think I'm better than everybody else, thus separate me from them. Solution: program low self-esteem into my personality. I should be grateful, I guess, having done it to myself.

This is pretty much how I see it. Wanderers (God, that word sounds so melodramatic) don't choose lives they'll enjoy too much, since they're hoping to only be here in the short term. Plus, at least in my case, I constantly suffer from the nagging feeling that everything is wrong, all wrong. People aren't supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to have more senses than this. Why does my mind only deal with one process at a time? Why can't I control my environment directly? How can human beings, if they are really that, say one thing, think another, and really believe that they're fooling me? And what benefit do they think they'll ultimately gain anyway? On and on like that. But when I try to find actual memories to serve as evidence that I'm remembering and not just thinking wishfully for unicorns to swoop down out of the sky, wave their magic horns, fart rainbows, and make my life better without my having to work at it, I find nothing.

Which leads me to believe that I'm not only borderline nuts, I'm also lazy and gullible.

NOT a self-esteem builder.