06-01-2011, 02:50 PM
you know xenos your story is my exact story.
we are in many respects one
i'm a 28 year old felix who grew up with an abusive dad as well
same situation nice to others, and a crook to our family.
i would get angry too.
sometimes i would yell at the top of my lungs, the kind of yelling i would never do to anyone else.
there comes a point where you can't reconcile things, but taking it to the law is a bit of an extreme, especially within an asian family. we tend to stick to each other instead. privacy is one thing, and it's a sensitive nature.
i've come to accept my dad for who he is, i can't change him. I try not to hold it against him, or anything against him really. I forgive him but I still don't approve of his actions.
Once you lay it out for someone, because i'm sure you wanted to spread LOO somehow even in philosophy, once someone doesn't accept it. we have to simply move on and watch from afar.
the next time your dad pulls off a stunt like that however, personally I wouldn't be so quick to stand idle and let it happen either. What I do is i confront, but I don't get physical. I lay out exactly what he is doing, how it's making the rest of us feel and really get straight to the point of what it is he's doing. Then I kick him out of the house.
Then I lock the door and don't answer his calls ever. or if it rings I pick up and hang up
okay thats a bit too much information but.. realize he's a very cowardly man. or anyone who does things like this.
my dad would always come over with other people and almost like hide behind them thinking I wouldn't say anything in front of his friends.
from your story it seems like your dad gets it from his dad. he's probably very very sensitive inside, but he becomes a victim to his own emotions as he doesn't know how to handle or process it at all.. obviously cause he wasn't taught the right way.
i completely sympathize with you from the bottom of my soul. i know exactly what you are going thru.. and i'm a narutard. (^_^)/ sugoi ne!
we are in many respects one
i'm a 28 year old felix who grew up with an abusive dad as well
same situation nice to others, and a crook to our family.
i would get angry too.
sometimes i would yell at the top of my lungs, the kind of yelling i would never do to anyone else.
there comes a point where you can't reconcile things, but taking it to the law is a bit of an extreme, especially within an asian family. we tend to stick to each other instead. privacy is one thing, and it's a sensitive nature.
i've come to accept my dad for who he is, i can't change him. I try not to hold it against him, or anything against him really. I forgive him but I still don't approve of his actions.
Once you lay it out for someone, because i'm sure you wanted to spread LOO somehow even in philosophy, once someone doesn't accept it. we have to simply move on and watch from afar.
the next time your dad pulls off a stunt like that however, personally I wouldn't be so quick to stand idle and let it happen either. What I do is i confront, but I don't get physical. I lay out exactly what he is doing, how it's making the rest of us feel and really get straight to the point of what it is he's doing. Then I kick him out of the house.
Then I lock the door and don't answer his calls ever. or if it rings I pick up and hang up
okay thats a bit too much information but.. realize he's a very cowardly man. or anyone who does things like this.
my dad would always come over with other people and almost like hide behind them thinking I wouldn't say anything in front of his friends.
from your story it seems like your dad gets it from his dad. he's probably very very sensitive inside, but he becomes a victim to his own emotions as he doesn't know how to handle or process it at all.. obviously cause he wasn't taught the right way.
i completely sympathize with you from the bottom of my soul. i know exactly what you are going thru.. and i'm a narutard. (^_^)/ sugoi ne!