very interessting thread.
I must say that all these years i have not been aware of any of this "cosmic" knowledge.
I believe I was at heart a giving person but only to expect or better said
to dictate how people have to behave if i wanted them to - which clearly falls into the STS field -
I then started off some reading Machiavelli stuff or more contemporary work such as Robert Greene material -
since my early teenage years i had abandoned my believe in religion (not in GOD though) since it was all just way too controversial
and obviously a power game so i ended up seeking power! due it was the only thing i believed in which was of value in this world.
I abandoned the idea of love (although i have the most loving parents) for the reason that i was not able to find love my will on others behaviors
with another human being but what i now think is that i simply wasn't in a position of power from where i could seriously impose
(since i had already given). So this more and more frustrated me. I think deep inside i was frustrated because -
i was still (and still am btw though today with totally different motivation behind it) a very giving person and therefore
I had an unrealistic expectation on how people would have to "obey me" in return - especially when i wanted/needed them to -
their way of paying back the debt so to speak (conditional love), so i have been disappointed and taken advantage of many times.
When i used to give i gave out of the intention wanting to assist but at the same time it was conditional -
seems i was just not smart enough to play my cards to achieve what i wanted properly if i knew how to manipulate in an effective way.
Let's say I was really bad at the maniplating game - lol
Anyway - due to being disappointed often and taken advantage of often i started to get more into material on to how to manipulate people
and i met quite some talented people around me from whom i wanted to learn (also nlp techniques)
but fairly early and before really going too deep into the manipulative world i realized - this is not what i wanted...
nor what i was good in...
so i had to seek a different approach - which was firstly to give less (i had a few close friends we ran a company together up to the point where each of them owed me many thousands - up to this day they haven't paid me back, but today its forgiven) but still when we had to make business decisions i was mostly overruled by the two and I was not able to influence our course the way i saw it had to be to have success - which it did not most of the time - and once i started to give less and not paying all bills when in need and not agreeing to go through with the overruled decisions, in their eyes i quickly became the reason for "our lack of success".
in the end they left with each having a huge personal debt towards me to pay and on top of that they left me with all the debts of our company ...
this was in april 2008. this when i realized i had to change vital in my way of life.
i was not willing to do the same mistake with any new relation anymore - besides i did not have anything to give anymore anyways (in terms of money)...
it took me until dec 2009 and many months wallowing in self pitty when then ou tof the blue i discovered the HH material which quickly led me to start the LOO.
Ever since then i consciously WANT to live STO loving others via the self way.
Just a few weeks back i was out with some other friends i made a bold move and visited my old partners at a party they were doing.
This was a huge eye opener to me - mostly that they are the biggest "victims" of their own behavior (no i was and am not pleased to see that at all!).
since all i saw was a group of people (same friends as always) all broke - all living full of resignation towards life and lack of positive outlook or perspective -
having children and wifes they can barely take care of, if at all... and this all that years later after we started
(and we had quite some success in the middle of our time together).
I on the other hand I had managed to get a job in the meantime - was full of love and acceptance
(this was actually my reason going there - going eye to eye with my ghosts/shadows and accept them, love them.)
and i was clearly radiating out love... i truly whish for them to find a way out of their circumstances and once my personal situation allows me to
i will certainly assist (unconditionally) if they accept my help.
Beside all this - I used to be very close with these guys with whom I used to work as a music porduction team for years -
during that time i have been beaten down alot by them (since they are 7-10 years older than me) and i always had to hear them telling me I had less experience
than them and less skills to judge a work of ours and our strategy or the clients and music I wanted us to work for etc.
we worked as a producer team with one single top ten hit in our career and the fall down starting right after the biggest success of ours
which is a whole second story to tell what this did to "us".
and now here I am - having a new music partner doing the best music i have ever done in my life which comes straight from the heart like i always wanted it to be
but couldn't in my old environment - i have a respected daytime job (which i will get rid of if the music will let me to) plus the best part, my personality shift;
more and more experiencing life in the moment, I feel unbelievably happy and blessed, loved and loving (thx to you also a lot guys and girls here!!!)
and now I know of this reality is all a game and even within this illusion I am convinced I will have a positive eventual outcome to my life's desires
(of course far from everything is good in my life in fact there are some huge horror scenarios i am still having to cope with,
which brought even suicidal thoughts not long ago but now i have a different state of mind to get through this eventually) -
so you chose what scenario fulfills you more... to me the HH catalyst and the LOO and this forum and also the divine cosmos and DW
was the best that ever happened to me! realizing the difference between STO and STS and re-assessing all my life experience from a totally different angle --
just awesome ...
love and light my friends!
I must say that all these years i have not been aware of any of this "cosmic" knowledge.
I believe I was at heart a giving person but only to expect or better said
to dictate how people have to behave if i wanted them to - which clearly falls into the STS field -
I then started off some reading Machiavelli stuff or more contemporary work such as Robert Greene material -
since my early teenage years i had abandoned my believe in religion (not in GOD though) since it was all just way too controversial
and obviously a power game so i ended up seeking power! due it was the only thing i believed in which was of value in this world.
I abandoned the idea of love (although i have the most loving parents) for the reason that i was not able to find love my will on others behaviors
with another human being but what i now think is that i simply wasn't in a position of power from where i could seriously impose
(since i had already given). So this more and more frustrated me. I think deep inside i was frustrated because -
i was still (and still am btw though today with totally different motivation behind it) a very giving person and therefore
I had an unrealistic expectation on how people would have to "obey me" in return - especially when i wanted/needed them to -
their way of paying back the debt so to speak (conditional love), so i have been disappointed and taken advantage of many times.
When i used to give i gave out of the intention wanting to assist but at the same time it was conditional -
seems i was just not smart enough to play my cards to achieve what i wanted properly if i knew how to manipulate in an effective way.
Let's say I was really bad at the maniplating game - lol
Anyway - due to being disappointed often and taken advantage of often i started to get more into material on to how to manipulate people
and i met quite some talented people around me from whom i wanted to learn (also nlp techniques)
but fairly early and before really going too deep into the manipulative world i realized - this is not what i wanted...
nor what i was good in...
so i had to seek a different approach - which was firstly to give less (i had a few close friends we ran a company together up to the point where each of them owed me many thousands - up to this day they haven't paid me back, but today its forgiven) but still when we had to make business decisions i was mostly overruled by the two and I was not able to influence our course the way i saw it had to be to have success - which it did not most of the time - and once i started to give less and not paying all bills when in need and not agreeing to go through with the overruled decisions, in their eyes i quickly became the reason for "our lack of success".
in the end they left with each having a huge personal debt towards me to pay and on top of that they left me with all the debts of our company ...
this was in april 2008. this when i realized i had to change vital in my way of life.
i was not willing to do the same mistake with any new relation anymore - besides i did not have anything to give anymore anyways (in terms of money)...
it took me until dec 2009 and many months wallowing in self pitty when then ou tof the blue i discovered the HH material which quickly led me to start the LOO.
Ever since then i consciously WANT to live STO loving others via the self way.
Just a few weeks back i was out with some other friends i made a bold move and visited my old partners at a party they were doing.
This was a huge eye opener to me - mostly that they are the biggest "victims" of their own behavior (no i was and am not pleased to see that at all!).
since all i saw was a group of people (same friends as always) all broke - all living full of resignation towards life and lack of positive outlook or perspective -
having children and wifes they can barely take care of, if at all... and this all that years later after we started
(and we had quite some success in the middle of our time together).
I on the other hand I had managed to get a job in the meantime - was full of love and acceptance
(this was actually my reason going there - going eye to eye with my ghosts/shadows and accept them, love them.)
and i was clearly radiating out love... i truly whish for them to find a way out of their circumstances and once my personal situation allows me to
i will certainly assist (unconditionally) if they accept my help.
Beside all this - I used to be very close with these guys with whom I used to work as a music porduction team for years -
during that time i have been beaten down alot by them (since they are 7-10 years older than me) and i always had to hear them telling me I had less experience
than them and less skills to judge a work of ours and our strategy or the clients and music I wanted us to work for etc.
we worked as a producer team with one single top ten hit in our career and the fall down starting right after the biggest success of ours
which is a whole second story to tell what this did to "us".
and now here I am - having a new music partner doing the best music i have ever done in my life which comes straight from the heart like i always wanted it to be
but couldn't in my old environment - i have a respected daytime job (which i will get rid of if the music will let me to) plus the best part, my personality shift;
more and more experiencing life in the moment, I feel unbelievably happy and blessed, loved and loving (thx to you also a lot guys and girls here!!!)
and now I know of this reality is all a game and even within this illusion I am convinced I will have a positive eventual outcome to my life's desires
(of course far from everything is good in my life in fact there are some huge horror scenarios i am still having to cope with,
which brought even suicidal thoughts not long ago but now i have a different state of mind to get through this eventually) -
so you chose what scenario fulfills you more... to me the HH catalyst and the LOO and this forum and also the divine cosmos and DW
was the best that ever happened to me! realizing the difference between STO and STS and re-assessing all my life experience from a totally different angle --
just awesome ...
love and light my friends!