Freedom.

[Ali Quadir]

You're right, I am not making that choice, nor do I want to. Nothing about this place or our people make me feel like I am at home or in any real tribe. To me, I am in a version of reality that is unsettling and is filled with many, many fragmented tribes humankind. I gravitate to those small groups that I vibe with, and I create the peace and harmony that I can create within them.

Did the infinite creator put you here? If so is this not the place where you should be? Are you not performing a disservice to him by crossing your arms and legs and looking the other way hoping that it will all go away soon? Only to be replaced by this thing that you don't know that you don't understand which has none the less convinced you that it is your only chance for happiness.

I have a name for people like you.. It's Renunciate. You will get exactly what you ask for. And at this rate that will be very little. So please humor me... Ask for the world.

You state that we are not Gods on this earth... But we are. It matters a great deal if we are at one with creation. You might not see it on the outside. But it is very much the difference between wanting to be free, and knowing you are exactly where you wanted to be.. Freedom is not the power to be somewhere else at will.. That is fleeing. Freedom is the power to be where you are. Wherever that is.

Not in a 3d egotistical I want my wishes granted NOW! Kind of way. But in a "I have crossed oceans of space and time to be here now." kind of way. You cannot contradict yourself. If you traveled into the wild for weeks. You cannot suddenly say "I am not free? I am in the wild! I should be in civilisation!" What you wish for is akin to God wishing for a rock he cannot lift and then getting upset when indeed he finds a rock he cannot lift.

Don't get me wrong. I feel you.. I feel what you're saying. Waking up with the early morning cry of horror after you realize where you are. I know how difficult it can be. I know my alien self pretty well. I know many details about what life was like, even to the point of recalling some of my loved ones there. Their essence lingers in the back of my mind. I realize why many wanderers are cut off from much of their history. It was very hard for me to get over them and just BE here.. When I was born the first year of my life I tried to get away. I only slept I refused food and it was uncertain if I'd stay. But this renunciation was not why I came here.

Let me ask you this. Is there guilt when you think about the idea of accepting earth as home? I had that for a while I felt like I would betray my home and my kin by getting too close to earth. I felt that succeeding here would diminish my connection to there... This wasn't the case. I'm not sure if I'd go back there if given the choice. Now certainly not unless it's for a short vacation. (Hint to the universe ) I'm a wanderer, I belong wherever I am.

Jamal means beautiful. Perhaps the name was given to you because God wanted to remind you of that every time someone calls you by it.

There's a lot of freedom available. Surprisingly many people on the forum report stuff that's not supposed to be possible in city block consciousness. On Earth if you do not disturb the global consciousness small excursions into mad magical terrain are very possible. I've personally seen heard and done things that are not supposed to be possible. And the stories of some of the members here still wow me...

Your will be done Jamal... It's up to you to decide what it is you want.