04-04-2011, 05:56 AM
Dear brothers and sisters, I need help.
One month or so before I found Ra material I finished writing a science fiction novel. I printed it and started to edit it. I was taking a week off from editing when I came across Ra material. This material then turned my whole world upside down, back and forth and changed my life completely.
While I was reading Ra material, alongside with A Wanderer's Handbook, during those first 2-3 weeks, there were moments of complete "I can't belive this is happening" emotions. These emotions were very strong, say the least. I've cried many times. During this time I had a friend who also went through the same thing and exprienced the same emotions together with me. We talked to each other every day on MSN. I don't know how many times I was feeling completely speachless and stunned and my only words were "Oh My God! I've wrote about it! I wrote about it in my book! Oh my God!".
Which takes me to this present time. What shall I do with this book?
Maybe I am not supposed to do anything with it anymore. Maybe the whole point of writing it was only to make me resonate with Ra material. I mean there is one thing to think things through, but whole completely different thing to write it down, print it and have it in front of you. You can't escape it when you have it in black and white next to you, written by you. So maybe this is it. I don't know...
I've tried to edit it on couple occasions since then but every time I do it I only see errors and stuff that are not complete and think no, it is not how it was/done/is. But if I re-write it, it would loose it's first touch, the mark that this is how it all came out before Ra material. This is how it came out from my heart. Now, if I would re-write it, it would come from the brain. Either way it feels wrong. So I need to wait, but at the same time I feel strong love toward that book and that I would love to continue writing/editing it.
But when I start to edit it, I stop few sentences later, because I don't know how to continue. My dilemma contains - shall I leave as it is though it feels wrong, now that I “know”. Or shall I edit it but then it might become as some kind of plagiary of Ra material...
Can you give me some personal advices? Like how would you personally do? I will still follow my inner voice but I need to get some other ideas and perhaps some inspiration.
One month or so before I found Ra material I finished writing a science fiction novel. I printed it and started to edit it. I was taking a week off from editing when I came across Ra material. This material then turned my whole world upside down, back and forth and changed my life completely.
While I was reading Ra material, alongside with A Wanderer's Handbook, during those first 2-3 weeks, there were moments of complete "I can't belive this is happening" emotions. These emotions were very strong, say the least. I've cried many times. During this time I had a friend who also went through the same thing and exprienced the same emotions together with me. We talked to each other every day on MSN. I don't know how many times I was feeling completely speachless and stunned and my only words were "Oh My God! I've wrote about it! I wrote about it in my book! Oh my God!".
Which takes me to this present time. What shall I do with this book?
Maybe I am not supposed to do anything with it anymore. Maybe the whole point of writing it was only to make me resonate with Ra material. I mean there is one thing to think things through, but whole completely different thing to write it down, print it and have it in front of you. You can't escape it when you have it in black and white next to you, written by you. So maybe this is it. I don't know...
I've tried to edit it on couple occasions since then but every time I do it I only see errors and stuff that are not complete and think no, it is not how it was/done/is. But if I re-write it, it would loose it's first touch, the mark that this is how it all came out before Ra material. This is how it came out from my heart. Now, if I would re-write it, it would come from the brain. Either way it feels wrong. So I need to wait, but at the same time I feel strong love toward that book and that I would love to continue writing/editing it.
But when I start to edit it, I stop few sentences later, because I don't know how to continue. My dilemma contains - shall I leave as it is though it feels wrong, now that I “know”. Or shall I edit it but then it might become as some kind of plagiary of Ra material...
Can you give me some personal advices? Like how would you personally do? I will still follow my inner voice but I need to get some other ideas and perhaps some inspiration.