03-28-2011, 09:33 AM
(03-28-2011, 08:54 AM)Ankh Wrote: Thank you, brother.
No, not selfish. But I get aversion shivers in my spine by being threatened to do that otherwise she won't let her husband go to the party. She is giving me feeling of guilt and trying to force me into this situation. I would like to do it in order to help her, but have difficulties with this presented situation. Now, if she would simply tell me the situation and then kindly ask me to be her company that evening because she would hate to be alone, I would be glad to help her, but in this situation I am doing it because I want to help her husband as her approach gives me aversion for being in help to her. This is interesting also because of the approach one takes. If someone ask me for help I am glad to offer the help, but if someone approaches me with giving me guilt and threat me I am not inclined to help. Hmmm
The key here is that you're aware of her drama. Unlike the unconscious controlled, you have an awakened/enlightened view over the situation, which means you still have the choice to not get caught up in it, although still attend. Much easier said than done, but the opportunity still remains.
Think of it like this; regardless of whether your mother asked you in an STS or STO context, the outcome is the same; you're being of service to both parents.
The choices/polarisation they choose themselves is of their own consequence.
What do you think would help them more?
Whether you choose to go, or opt for tough love, i.e. 3DM's recommendation, as long as you choose what you think is best for them, that's the best you can do :¬)