apologising and empathy

[yossarian]

you know what? i love myself. if i'm so afraid of losing unique self i must love myself a whole lot. not in a narcissistic way of course. but as a valid part of the world. i always love people from afar and never imagine i am on the same level. as worthy. i feel like once they see my gunk they will reject me. but i do love myself, even if everyone else rejects me, i see the good in me, the unique value in me. all this self confidence bull doesn't matter. it's all about pride. true humility is not caring about that stuff because you know everyone is a diamond and if there's gunk on the surface, that's just gunk. why am i so focused on my gunk? isn't the real me. it isn't the real anybody. it's so obvious there's a diamond underneath and that's what matters. with everybody. maybe next time i can think of that when i think i see gunk and just see past it to the good stuff and remember diamonds shouldn't yell at diamonds. i will try.

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i hope you're right yossarian. i do still want to be me.

gunk is holy.

the gunk is ok, we all have gunk, and we're all slowly learning to accept both our gunk and other's gunk.

I know you have gunk. Everyone has gunk. Know what though? I'm ok with your gunk. You gunk may make me cringe, but that's just my gunk.

It's okay to have your gunk. You have a right to your gunk. As far as I'm concerned, your gunk is beautiful, and your virtue is beautiful, and I want you to choose what to do with both your gunk and your virtue and I wouldn't have it any other way. (Even if it means choosing not to choose :] )Basically, I think the individual creative ability of yourself to have the gunk or not have it is itself beautiful.

Think of a character in a book or movie. The most beautiful characters are rarely the ones who are perfect in every way. They always have their gunk, and we can recognize their gunk and see it and experience the pain they feel due to their gunk, and we can even recoil and grimace when their gunk is revealed to us, but we still love them and we still empathize and we still go on the journey with them.

Choose to keep your gunk or don't choose it... I will see your lifestory as beautiful either way.

You won't lose your self. I'm a firm believer in the idea that nothing is ever truly lost. You will change in ways you wish to change but the old self will still be observable and lovable, in your memories, in your visions, in time-space, or whatever. It never really goes away. You can always bring it back if you choose it.

Learning to see the beauty in gunk really goes a long way to seeing the creator in everything. The gunk itself is beautiful and it's also beautiful when people choose to polish off the gunk and turn it into diamond. The whole process is beautiful, like any good story. The hero always has an arc. And the more I get to know about people's arcs in great detail the more every arc is unique and amazing and suprising, while at the same time every arc has deep commonalities.

Anyway embrace your arc and don't despair over your gunk. It's grist for the mill, as Carla says, and it gives your story drama. Without a dragon to slay the story is not nearly as exciting.

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LOL. I asked it...

I mean, we talk about electricity with polarization talk. We talk about evolution with dna talk. In my vision, I liken the further realms similar to the way cells work in the body. The body moves in an intuitive flow. The tiniest particles in the body mimic the vastness of space. If I am made up thousands of my own incarnations, this incarnation is a drop in the ocean my experiences surrender to.
This incarnation has a purpose. The purpose is not my own. I do not perceive my life fully. My perception is veiled as a tool for a purpose I can not see. I am not here for me. I am here for the Logos.

Well, you are the logos, and your cup will pour back into that ocean eventually.

But you're also yourself. I think most souls have unique patterns, designs, filigrees, that echo throughout their entire journey up the densities.

So in 3D you're an auto mechanic who loves cars, and in 4D this love develops into a love for working on UFOs. Or maybe it takes a totally different turn and develops into a love for studying the locomotive ability of 4D insects or something.

I'm just saying there's a common theme that binds each soul to itself throughout the densities. It's not like you wake up tomorrow and now you're Elvis, a totally different person, it's more like you're yourself with a twist, with a good twist, an appealing twist that satisfies you on some level even if not on an obvious conscious level.

Often when I get pessimistic and down on my life circumstances I reach a point in meditation where it seems like I have a creative choice and the choice is: It's my life, if I don't like the Earth I can leave. And then as soon as the choice presents itself I realize that.... no... despite the suffering I do want to be here... this does satisfy me on some deep level... it's still myself and it's an aspect of myself but i'm just not always conscious of it.

Then a month later maybe I'm back down in the dumps cursing the universe for putting me in the gutter or whatever, but my point is just that there is some kind of theme here, some kind of uniqueness that binds all the experiences together and ultimately it's toward a deep satisfaction on some infinite level.

Anyway 3Dmonkey I like your statements about other realms, I just think yours are sort of like a refined version of what I'm saying, whereas my ideas are more generalized. I am emphasizing the cosmic infinite similarity between self and self and you are emphasizing the cosmic difference - I see both similarities and differences but perhaps right now my mind prefers to see the similarities.

In any case one thing I'm deeply convinced of is that nothing is lost, and so there is no need to fear loss. Once you overcome some negative tendency you always have the option to put it on again.. typically when you do this though it just helps you rediscover that your first choice was indeed your preferred choice. Or maybe sometimes you don't, but that's fine too. Why not?