Session 46.9 Polarity and anger.

[J.W.]

...Has anyone ever witnessed this? A soft spoken and passive person exploding into anger to shock people into being placed under their control?

I am soft spoken and many people have commented that I seem to be a passive person. It is very rare that I explode in anger, but it does shock people when it happens. My intention is not to shock people into being placed under my control, indeed it is not something I "control" nor would I want to. Trying not to become angry would be a form of repression of my feelings. I am simply not made angry by many things that normally makes people angry. So if I explode in anger, or just become angry, I do not try to prevent it. There is a reason for it and it is ok that it be given its place. Generally when this happens it is because a part of me acknowledges that this is what the other/others wanted from me. Sometimes, they just want to test your limits or they won't be satisfied with anything other than a forceful reaction. I am non-reactive and it seems that, with some people, our mutual understanding/relationship cannot go forward without first passing that speed bump. I don't really feel the need to understand this, I just go with the flow.

In psyc, "anger" is an emotion that always serves as secondary. 

https://www.google.com/search?q=anger+is...e&ie=UTF-8 

A person that has work through any knots within themselves do not "explode" when being tested. 

Just because you show extraordinary patience to triggers that others may not, does not mean you are "peaceful" or "passive."
Also, it is not a "token" for the angry outburst when it happens. 

The "shock" is not from you suddenly "breaking" out of your normal and expected behavior. 

But it is from the sudden realization that this person is capable of violence. (Not that you intended to be)
There is a true color under the sheep clothing. 

The emotion, the reaction, and the causation are not placed "externally" ... Just because someone want you to be angry to "satisfy" their own social constructed need, does not mean the anger is justify. 

Not understanding why a passive person could suddenly turn into a bomb out of nowhere is more of masking rather than just going with the flow. 

Remember, anger is not the primary reason, there is a "hurt" underneath being ignored. 

I hope you speak to someone. 


A person that is angry all the time is actually less concerning to a therapist like myself than a person that have sudden "episodes" and acting benign about it due to some kind of spiritual text they read somewhere. 

Hope you resolve whatever that hurts you Patrick