Looking for advice: friendship

[tadeus]

How does one find and make friends?

I am 35 and have had a friend here and there, for a few weeks or even a few years. But it always feels one-sided. Like they mean a lot to me, and I mean very little to them (ie: they have many other friends). And one day they just kind of disappear and I never hear from the again. It hurts me so deeply and I'm left feeling like I do not matter to anyone.

I am an introvert so I'm as low-maintenance as friends come. A text here and there, a hang out once a month and I'm set...but i don't mess around with small talk. I want to talk about meaningful things and ideas but also laugh and joke around. Maybe it's all too paradoxical for most...

I wonder if this is a karmic lesson, a pattern I'm meant to break. I honestly can't figure it out and wonder if my fellow wanderers have any insights to share or similar struggles. I don't know where else to turn.

I hope it's alright to post this here. Thanks for your time,

L+L
AO

This sounds like the typical problems of a wanderer.
My usual answer is to try to find an explanation and solace by reading A Wanderer's Handbook. from Carla.
Hopefully this will help to get another view on your situation.