Thankyou spaced. Although I only acknowledge your point about not getting too attached to the harvest grudgingly.
Like I said I was a very close friend to this girl and I was very helpful in her mental health I think. A big part of this is that I refused to sleep with her so the relationship remained healthy with none of the compulsive attachments that she tended to get with men. She did tend to throw herself at men which would have sabotaged my friendship with her.
Her and my cousin connected on the pretext of helping each other with mental health since they are both suicidal and then started sleeping with each other. I tried to stay in contact with her but now she was sleeping with my cousin despite me putting a lot of energy into trying to arrange things with both of them they both basically rejected any further friendship and she made up a lot of lies in order to assure me she was OK, these were flat out abusive, pretending behaviours of mine that were nice and caring were somehow abusive. Because obviously I tried to stay in contact with her as I was worried about her.
Then, a few weeks down the line without me as a friend, and not having any other friends (she had lied about that to me, saying she had a lot of supportive friends now lockdown was over), when she had a dark turn she only had my cousin to turn to and they were in a sexual relationship, so not a relationship of mutual support. Then, in a state of being trapped with her own demons she went to Beachy Head. Also, her guilt at how she treated me may have been an element. But of course, this is mostly just educated guesswork.
Obviously, I did not like my cousin much anyway. He has seemed more and more STS recently and he uses a lot of emotional blackmail/ abuse on people. So even though I pray everyday, 'forgiveness' in this instance is going to likely be eclipsed by the need to stay away from him and to keep anyone additional I come into contact with away from him. I hope if I am quite Christian and am aware of dream interpretation and such I will adequately receive the guidance given to me and conduct myself well against this level of "karmic maelstrom", but it seems to me as though it is all getting rather intense.
Like I said I was a very close friend to this girl and I was very helpful in her mental health I think. A big part of this is that I refused to sleep with her so the relationship remained healthy with none of the compulsive attachments that she tended to get with men. She did tend to throw herself at men which would have sabotaged my friendship with her.
Her and my cousin connected on the pretext of helping each other with mental health since they are both suicidal and then started sleeping with each other. I tried to stay in contact with her but now she was sleeping with my cousin despite me putting a lot of energy into trying to arrange things with both of them they both basically rejected any further friendship and she made up a lot of lies in order to assure me she was OK, these were flat out abusive, pretending behaviours of mine that were nice and caring were somehow abusive. Because obviously I tried to stay in contact with her as I was worried about her.
Then, a few weeks down the line without me as a friend, and not having any other friends (she had lied about that to me, saying she had a lot of supportive friends now lockdown was over), when she had a dark turn she only had my cousin to turn to and they were in a sexual relationship, so not a relationship of mutual support. Then, in a state of being trapped with her own demons she went to Beachy Head. Also, her guilt at how she treated me may have been an element. But of course, this is mostly just educated guesswork.
Obviously, I did not like my cousin much anyway. He has seemed more and more STS recently and he uses a lot of emotional blackmail/ abuse on people. So even though I pray everyday, 'forgiveness' in this instance is going to likely be eclipsed by the need to stay away from him and to keep anyone additional I come into contact with away from him. I hope if I am quite Christian and am aware of dream interpretation and such I will adequately receive the guidance given to me and conduct myself well against this level of "karmic maelstrom", but it seems to me as though it is all getting rather intense.