05-14-2022, 09:20 PM
This is a wonderful post, and very grateful for all the words of all of you, everything adds up in some way.
If I may share with, in and from your experiences and wisdom. My only wish is to maybe be of value to someone. Perhaps I can help in a little way from my experience of this.
I too used to have a strange presence appear in my sleep, very dark, very real, very powerful. So real, I have been wakened by a cat that used to sleep with me that frantically tried to protect my sleeping body, this was years ago. This "spirit" would pin me down in my sleep and create great pain in my rib sides and not release. The paralyzing state remained even as I became semi-awake, and I remember trying so hard to wake myself up, but couldn't, I couldn't move and the more I resisted the more powerful and painful it became. It happened often enough to create a fear. I share this not as a story for my own benefit, but to show you are not alone.
I have since almost learned to manipulate my own sleep state, I can change dreams, I can do this or that... You have your path and there is an awareness you seek of your own states. Once you become aware of it there is no longer a need for it.
Fundamentally, the darkness can only exist through your own resistance to it. You are the creator. I am not saying it may be every ones path, perhaps you can find a way to welcome the darkness, you have already made your choice as to your alignment, so have faith in the universe that you will not faulter. Healing requires awareness, of what, well that is your path to discover by introspection or sharing your pains... From my perspective, much of what you seek you have already said in your original post.
If I may share with, in and from your experiences and wisdom. My only wish is to maybe be of value to someone. Perhaps I can help in a little way from my experience of this.
I too used to have a strange presence appear in my sleep, very dark, very real, very powerful. So real, I have been wakened by a cat that used to sleep with me that frantically tried to protect my sleeping body, this was years ago. This "spirit" would pin me down in my sleep and create great pain in my rib sides and not release. The paralyzing state remained even as I became semi-awake, and I remember trying so hard to wake myself up, but couldn't, I couldn't move and the more I resisted the more powerful and painful it became. It happened often enough to create a fear. I share this not as a story for my own benefit, but to show you are not alone.
I have since almost learned to manipulate my own sleep state, I can change dreams, I can do this or that... You have your path and there is an awareness you seek of your own states. Once you become aware of it there is no longer a need for it.
Fundamentally, the darkness can only exist through your own resistance to it. You are the creator. I am not saying it may be every ones path, perhaps you can find a way to welcome the darkness, you have already made your choice as to your alignment, so have faith in the universe that you will not faulter. Healing requires awareness, of what, well that is your path to discover by introspection or sharing your pains... From my perspective, much of what you seek you have already said in your original post.
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