Compassionate Honesty

[Mettadohm]

One inner project of mine is becoming less brash in my responses to people. There was a thread here quite a few years ago where people were either in the compassion camp or brutal honesty camp but I’m trying to find a middle ground. 

Personally, I’ve always welcomed honesty even if it’s not positively oriented. If someone had something to say then say it and I’ll process it within. Yet I know many others who aren’t like this and instead of referring to them as frigid as I have in the past, I’m looking for ways to realize that not everyone is the same in processing criticism or honesty. 

So I am all ears as to how those that are more compassionate within social conversations have done so. I admit that I have been quite blunt in my actions due to that being how I would like to be treated but have come to realize that that’s not necessarily the best way and I’m really trying to be mindful as to how I communicate to be more loving within the moment.

I have always been of the perspective that "if it can be destroyed by truth, it deserves to be destroyed by truth". For this reason, I love Ramana Maharshi and Jiddu Krishnamurti because they don't seem to give two s*%$s about the illusion that someone else's ego wants to uphold. On the flipside, I grew up with an emotionally sensitive younger sibling and am now married to a sensitive woman and this has helped me temper my communication skills, through much "error" on my part.

The compassion must be genuine otherwise it is pandering/patronizing, which demeans the person you are speaking to. See them as what they are, other forms of what you are, the beloved. In this perception of truth, I find that my speech, regardless of the message I wish to convey, is one of devotion, love, and adoration. Even so, sometimes the truth can be unbearable for one who has lived a lie for too long and how someone else reacts is not my responsibility, as it is a reflection of who they are in this moment and not of what I have said. All that being said, I now am beginning to see the value of only sharing my perspective with someone who has actually requested it, while letting go of the need to correct all misconceptions.

Much love!