Does anyone regret coming to Earth?

[pat19989]

Hey everyone,

Just going to add my little bit into this thread.

I've struggled a lot with depression/feeling suicidal/not wanting to be in this incarnation anymore.

Whilst spiritual material, specifically the Ra material, has helped come to terms with being in this incarnation, depending on the severity of the feelings-some things I read in this area are just not helpful at all, and even make me feel worse.

For example, reading about how much of a blessing it is to be here right now, we are the creators of our own reality, when we cross over we will regret not trying harder etc. I don't think for a second that none of this is true, but it doesn't actually help with the intense emotional/spiritual pain I endure at times. I feel awful for not authentically being able to have this attitude.

I have been, and still am for the most part, very lost and confused about what it is exactly I came here for and I need to be doing. I almost feel like it's pointless if I am not awakening full to my mission, often feeling like a failure and that I have been beaten by third density, getting obsessive in my thoughts at times about hitting the 51% mark so I could get the hell outta here.

One day, I was just truthful with myself. As distasteful as this is, If someone gave me a get out of jail card right now I would take it. I do not want to be here.

But, If I really am a wanderer, if I really can help bring in healing energies to Gaia, and if working on myself really does help other people here as we are all one, then I don't need to accomplish anything grand. Just staying here on Earth, working on balancing my self, sending love and light where I can, IS SERVICE TO OTHERS. I am winning if I can do that, I am serving if I can balance my self as much as possible, if I go against what often feels like my true desire to check out of here, in the faith that my existence is somehow serving the whole. I am doing that with the intention of serving others and coming to terms with the fact that just staying alive may be the most I can offer in this incarnation.

I can accept this.

And it makes things easier for me.

Love & Light & Hugs to all my brothers and sisters here xxx

I give you my understanding which might not be much.

We are born with certain personality which help us learn. This means our personality is part of the problem and not the solution. Our personality makes us hate this world, ourselves, everybody else. Our personality makes us want to quit. This is part of the test.

Now with this personality and the rest of the catalyst we need to navigate this incarnation and find out what do we need to learn.

Intellect is the tool which help us learn. Unlike the personality, intellect is part of the solution.

Now we suffer our way through life, screaming, kicking, complaining and wanting to quit every moment.

At one moment we discover Ra Material and start reading it. We feel it right. We agree with most of it. One moment we believe we are mortal and insignificant, the next moment we learn we are immortal and significant. Do we see a change in our approach towards life?

No we don't.

How come there is such a drastic change in our intellect and our personality still focuses on little insignificant details of our existence?

This is because understanding at intellectual level does not make us awaken. This is a preamble of awakening.

The next and most important step, for us, is to transfer that wisdom from the brain to the heart.  This means to make our faith stronger. When we feel in our hearts what we understand in our brains, we awaken.

Does it mean the personalty will be more reasonable once awaken? Of course not because as I said it is part of the problem. But once we develop faith our personality impulses will not mean much to us anymore. We start treating our personality like wise parents would treat their little kids.

In your case it is time to make your faith stronger so that your personality will not dominate your life anymore.

How can you do this? Q'uo and generally the Confederation recommend disciplined meditation. Which means daily a certain time and place dedicated for meditation.
The intend of meditation is to quiet our intellect so that our spirit can develop. Confederation claims that intellect hyperactivity causes spirit and faith to under-develop.

Try meditating every day, have patience and see how you will change in one or two years.
I bet your opinion on life generally and on this planet especially will change.

I really appreciate this perspective, thank you!