Jeremy so many thoughts.
Exhaustion due to your work added to the responsibility of a child is an incredible weight to shoulder.
Just a thought, if I may suggest something out of great affection I always felt at reading your past posts, just know that if you wanted to transit to a better way about alcohol, wine and any alcohol are known to be depressant , except.. tequila. lol, not that I wish to encourage anyone to drink alcohol but if you could switch for a while to have a drink in the evening of a dozen ice cubes with little fresh lime juice, bit of brown sugar and a tablespoon of tequila, you might in fact start to feel better. Then it might be easier to quit later. Definitely the help of therapy and if need be, medication, eliminating then the margarita... would be a great choice. Best best wishes for finding a good therapist.
Hang in there dear Jeremy, you are doing in fact so much good even if you think you are not a great father yet. Many many thoughts.
Exhaustion due to your work added to the responsibility of a child is an incredible weight to shoulder.
Just a thought, if I may suggest something out of great affection I always felt at reading your past posts, just know that if you wanted to transit to a better way about alcohol, wine and any alcohol are known to be depressant , except.. tequila. lol, not that I wish to encourage anyone to drink alcohol but if you could switch for a while to have a drink in the evening of a dozen ice cubes with little fresh lime juice, bit of brown sugar and a tablespoon of tequila, you might in fact start to feel better. Then it might be easier to quit later. Definitely the help of therapy and if need be, medication, eliminating then the margarita... would be a great choice. Best best wishes for finding a good therapist.
Hang in there dear Jeremy, you are doing in fact so much good even if you think you are not a great father yet. Many many thoughts.