Help Needed Regarding Initiation.

[Sacred Fool]

My suggestion is that you make friends with these feelings because you will encounter them again and again.  You might think of it as first roughing out a shape to be sculpted or carved, then refining and refining it, then polishing it, and so forth.  It's a very long process to become comfortable with this, and when you eventually realise that this is just fine, you will find yourself relaxing into it more and more.

There are so many levels of consciousness and so many places you will have stashed away resistance over the years and over multitudinous incarnations.  It's no big deal.  Just keep moving one step at a time.  At each step you will become more open to experiencing love, and the experience of resistance will slowly find its way out the door.