(06-26-2021, 10:10 PM)Inkshards Wrote: the point of unprovoked physical assault and destruction of property that she justifies in her own view as being necessary. She also greatly uses emotional manipulation in the form of guilt, self pity and victim mentality to emotionally get us to bend to her will.
That sounds like an unconscious inner struggle with materialism.
But i think this is only a symptom of an other deeper problem.
(06-26-2021, 10:10 PM)Inkshards Wrote: I guess the main concern I have is the polarity issue in that I feel guilty for enjoying this emotional relief and freedom from her. I worry that if I contact her, nothing will change and I'll be pulled back into her behavior but I also don't want to lose a parent and I see that her behavior stems from deep pain and trauma and I honestly don't know if she is fully aware of what she is doing to herself and those around her.
It seems that you have only the choice to fulfill her control or keep your freedom.
So your last conclusion is correct and you must decide how to handle this catalyst.
From my experience there is no really decision possible, because you have to decide between the feelings to your mother and fulfilling the will of someone else (STS).
The logic choice for a being in STO is to accept that you can't be in STO by fulfilling STS.
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