02-19-2011, 04:11 PM
In a conversation, she told you what was going on, then you offered your opinion. That isn't so bad, IMO. Probably you will want to stay silent on the subject, even if she calls you, and not call her for a while.
You could have been more subtle saying, for example, "I hope you weighed the possible outcomes and consequences. I love those kids and don't want them hurt."
You also could have been a whole lot worse: "There you go, following your old pattern. Obviously you can't learn from past mistakes. You took him at his word, but I guarantee this won't work. You'll be sorry and I told you so. Etc." This is an "I'm better and smarter than you," separation scenario.
Sex is a big driver of experience. One party wants multiple partners, the other maybe not. By abstaining from the multiplicity, the first partner experiences a deprivation. By going for it, the first partner gets that experience plus the nearly inevitable complications. The latter case almost certainly drives the greater quantity of experiences, for all of the partners and for the children, so the One experiencing Itself arguably gets a bigger payoff.
I don't advocate that dangerous choice; I just mean to point out that, in the big scheme of things, either of them serves the One.
You are struggling inside with the approaching train wreck and also with wanting to do the right thing, not only for that dear family but also for your own improvement. I wish you well with this double anxiety.
You could have been more subtle saying, for example, "I hope you weighed the possible outcomes and consequences. I love those kids and don't want them hurt."
You also could have been a whole lot worse: "There you go, following your old pattern. Obviously you can't learn from past mistakes. You took him at his word, but I guarantee this won't work. You'll be sorry and I told you so. Etc." This is an "I'm better and smarter than you," separation scenario.
Sex is a big driver of experience. One party wants multiple partners, the other maybe not. By abstaining from the multiplicity, the first partner experiences a deprivation. By going for it, the first partner gets that experience plus the nearly inevitable complications. The latter case almost certainly drives the greater quantity of experiences, for all of the partners and for the children, so the One experiencing Itself arguably gets a bigger payoff.
I don't advocate that dangerous choice; I just mean to point out that, in the big scheme of things, either of them serves the One.
You are struggling inside with the approaching train wreck and also with wanting to do the right thing, not only for that dear family but also for your own improvement. I wish you well with this double anxiety.