05-08-2021, 08:25 AM
awww man, you guys are awesome. im happy y'all can relate in your own ways
@fool: if someone were to ask me if i feel like im living in a sinkhole of indifference, I would say in some ways yes and in some ways no. there's not much charge to that answer for me. (though I did have to think about it). on one hand, i often feel indifferent to my experience, and often times i find it difficult and trying to engage with the world in a meaningful way. sometimes it's easy though. like if im taking a walk in nature, i often feel "tuned in" and so there isn't much of a feeling of indifference in that sort of activity. however, when it comes to something like making art, i often experience a sort of "stuck" feeling. it just doesn't feel quite right. it feels like indifference in a way.
i resonate with what you have shared about engaging with the heart, and engaging with my experience from that place. going back to my experience with art and making things, I realized recently that i often feel like i am engaging with that process in a way that feels "lower" than the level i desire to engage with it at. my ideal is that i want to be a channel for art and music (and love in general), i want it to come through me and i want to be a messenger for that. i don't really feel like "i" make art, i just feel like a portal for it. that's my gut feeling. that's the ideal. on the other hand, the way i engage with art feels like "I" am that higher power and "I" am manipulating these lower energies in order to get what "I" want. it feels fundamentally all wrong to me and contrary to what my feeling is (that im just a crystal for music to shine through).
this is something i've struggled with for a while so i really appreciate you engaging with me on this topic. i know you're not belittling me
@fool: if someone were to ask me if i feel like im living in a sinkhole of indifference, I would say in some ways yes and in some ways no. there's not much charge to that answer for me. (though I did have to think about it). on one hand, i often feel indifferent to my experience, and often times i find it difficult and trying to engage with the world in a meaningful way. sometimes it's easy though. like if im taking a walk in nature, i often feel "tuned in" and so there isn't much of a feeling of indifference in that sort of activity. however, when it comes to something like making art, i often experience a sort of "stuck" feeling. it just doesn't feel quite right. it feels like indifference in a way.
i resonate with what you have shared about engaging with the heart, and engaging with my experience from that place. going back to my experience with art and making things, I realized recently that i often feel like i am engaging with that process in a way that feels "lower" than the level i desire to engage with it at. my ideal is that i want to be a channel for art and music (and love in general), i want it to come through me and i want to be a messenger for that. i don't really feel like "i" make art, i just feel like a portal for it. that's my gut feeling. that's the ideal. on the other hand, the way i engage with art feels like "I" am that higher power and "I" am manipulating these lower energies in order to get what "I" want. it feels fundamentally all wrong to me and contrary to what my feeling is (that im just a crystal for music to shine through).
this is something i've struggled with for a while so i really appreciate you engaging with me on this topic. i know you're not belittling me
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