Left with a feeling of doom

[Dtris]

Personally i find it quite hard to not feel the need to balance my acts of altruism with acts of selfishness. Only this way i can live a fulfilling life. I believe balance is the key to happiness and I don’t see why this area should be exempt from balancing.

It seems obvious that you are experiencing some pretty serious cognitive dissonance. This occurs when new information conflicts with your beliefs. In this case you likely resonate with the LOO on a pretty deep level. Which is why you attribute 99% to being good, and 1% bad. You also have strong beliefs, as the quote above clearly shows.

Your initial post also shows you have several other strong beliefs.
1) Religion is not to be trusted due to emphasis on a paradisaical afterlife or eternal damnation.
2) Earth to you is a form of Hell.
3) The concepts of making the grade, or meeting requirements to move to the next step are antithetical to your current beliefs.
4) Any system which has requirements to go to a "better place" are inherently the same as religion.

Your beliefs create your reality. The question is do your current beliefs serve you and enhance your life? Would a different configuration of beliefs be more beneficial to your life? Does recently acquired knowledge or experience conflict with existing beliefs? Will you revise your beliefs or reject the new knowledge/experience?

No one here will tell you to accept everything in the Law of One as the truth. You can accept or reject any % of the material you wish, and this community will cheer you on no matter the choice.

Quite often we create beliefs which allow us to feel comfortable with ourselves, even if we have an intuitive sense these beliefs are wrong. Often these beliefs become the ones we are most attached to because they serve to protect the ego from deep introspection and allow the evasion of self reflection. Acceptance of the Law of One metaphysical cosmology is tied to accepting the responsibility the self has for its own evolution. Some people find this freeing, others find this terrifying.

Your seeking brought you into this material, only your own meditations and reflections can tell you why. I will add that the answer is seldom found in the logical mind for these issues. Meditation and listening to the "small still voice" will provide the answers.