A question for the advanced

[Indiken]

Hooboy, not even sure how to answer that, because the essentials are basically that rudimentary list (fear, shame, guilt.....), the specifics involve a lifetime of experiences, but what you have offered yourself is not much different, although the issues evolved over time as they get buried with personality traits. The excercise is a form of ego dissolution, at least the toxic side which does not serve us or others.

Start with what feels obvious, and keep asking why? and all the other W's. Don't dismiss anything, just keep expanding until there's nothing left to talk to yourself about. Good luck, it was a long journey for me, and the process never truly stops, although it does get more superficial as you start to remove the majority of the bull s***.

Thank You, Sir.

I feel that You are evasive. Am Ok with that.

The exercise you gave is good. I felt a relief instantly.

When I questioned myself and came to a point where I write:

"Do I want to die? I do."
"Why? I do not like my life."

It was a relief. The moment I thought I do not want to die, a discomfort arise.

Now I know what acceptance is.

I thought I was doing this type of exercise since I was teen. You gave a hint to look to the root.

Yes, red ray is in the tailbone. I clearly feel it now.

You know, I am listening to music now, when I started the exercise, the music was coincidently about death. And now it is soft and relaxing. And now it is playing "it's my life". What a coincidence.
I like to dig deep.