A question for the advanced

[Indiken]

This rings all too familiar, and the only thing I can really offer is the game is most likely to alienate you by making you choose to alienate yourself. It may take time, but there is a 'tribe' out there for you, and a purpose, and it'll be time when you are ready. The best analogy I can give is it's like being the odd kid in high school, it's a mine field to navigate, but if you got sent back knowing what you know now, that it's mostly just a set of constructs and people acting out things they don't understand, how would you change your approach?

If I understand correct.
Looking back and forward, I think things are as they should be. No matter "good" and "bad". Everything seems to have a direction and motion to some goal. Slowly, but steady.