what ive been feeling lately

[Eddie]

basically i have been experiencing an extreme sense of i dont want to be here anymore. i find that the very structure of society doesnt interest me at all it seems kind of meaningless. i dont want to achieve anything or attain anything or be anything.
norral

I feel the same. I wouldn't describe it as "down", just disconnected. There is almost nothing belonging to 3rd density ordinary life that interests me anymore. It's fatiguing.

After many, many incarnations I have a vague feeling that most of my work is done. The only thing that keeps me going here is an inner knowing that there is one more task, something I'm supposed to do right here in the county of my childhood, at the time of transition. I don't yet know what that thing is, but I have deliberately arranged my life to return here, to be here at that time; and I gave up a lot to do it. But my heart told me I needed to be here. So, I'm just waiting, being available.