Life Cheat Code?

[Renmik]

I've always associated "cheat codes" with stealing the joy of the journey. One would not have looked as hard as they would have for a certain something or other that they needed to get to the end of the game. I've enjoyed my journey through this game, albeit in hindsight it is much clearer as to the purpose of any one instance in my life experience. They have all meant something, a lesson to learn, a trial to pass. Life experience share incoming... A number of years ago I became estranged from my 2 youngest children. Catalyst indeed!! I'll try to make this short, but there is no short way of telling it. I was married to their mother for 17 years, I thought we'd never ever part, and I told everyone so. We became "religious" together, at first I was the one who wanted to make it to church every Sunday, she wouldn't. Then she wanted too and I didn't. Dragging the kids along with us or course. I worked 60-80 hours a week for 10 plus years to support our family and maintain support obligations for my 2 oldest children.This created a distance as one could imagine.
I felt selfish because I spent so much energy in this endeavor of work to support it all. I felt entitled to be happy with whatever choice I made. Nothing major, never cheated or anything of that sort. I just worked and slept and worked and slept. Took time out for the kids, but I wasn't "there" the majority of the time for those 10 plus years. We'd take weekends at my mom's, my ex would stay home alone. She home schooled L&E, so I wanted her to get some time alone. She was with them 24/7, I wasn't. It was my time with them, we enjoyed it a lot. Especially the drives! About 10 years ago, I had a serious detachment. I wanted a divorce and she did too, until it came time for me to actually leave the house. Then she said she didn't want me to leave, well...I'm a Leo. When my mind is made up, it's made up. Never looked back. Hindsight is 20/20, and I lost that piece to rationally think because I was blinded by my "right" to be happy. 10 months after our split, and 4 months after the divorce I moved 1,200 miles away, with little notice to the kids. They were 14 and 13. That didn't go over well at all, they wrote me letters saying how terrible I was for doing that and why. I continually defended myself for my choice, defensive in short. That led to 8 years of silence from them. Those were the darkest 8 years of my life, sleepless nights and sleep walking through years of days. I kept up the charade of defensiveness for a long time, then something changed. I started looking inwards, very intensely. Who was I? What was I? How did I get here? Why am I going through this? David Wilcock was my introducer to The Law of One by way of ancient aliens of course. I started reading The Syncronicity Key which led me to The Ascension Mysteries, then The Sourcefield investigations. Then The Law of One. I had to do some very intense introspection, forgive myself and admit what it was I did. Acted selfishly with no regard for what my actions would do to my 2 youngest children, who were by now/then, adults. This forgiving process and admitting to myself that they had every right to feel the way they did and I would have felt the same way. I had deep remorse, but had accepted my fate of never talking to them again. This was very hard to realize, harder to accept as reality. But I did, and I was comforted by that. The remorse will never go away, it will always be there as a reminder to choices. Other changes came in the weeks to follow. I worked a summer at a local botanical garden, and fell in love with gardening and knew at once I had missed my calling. I loved the plants, the smell of the flowers, the smell of the dirt. That was a magical summer in my life, I was 49. On my 50th birthday, I was working in my section of the garden, acres big gardens. So I was by myself in my area, surrounded by what I fell in love with that summer. I was in my Toro garden vehicle, coming back from lunch just getting to my section and my phone goes off. Unknown number the message read "Happy Birthday Dad". I started crying and literally thought someone was totally messing with me. I didn't believe it was my youngest daughter. I asked her questions only she would know the answer to. She answered correctly. I was absolutely floored. The rest of the day was a blur. We decided to talk that night. My 50th birthday present was a text from my youngest daughter after 8 very long years. The other gift was a video chat that night from her, which the first 10 minutes was spent crying. This came a maximum of 2 months after I had accepted my reality and what I had done and had forgiven myself for. Accepted my fate so to speak. We've once again become close and my youngest son was not far behind his sister. We've seen each other about every 6 months and chat regularly. My son just stayed with my current wife and I for a year and a half. Full circle. "All it took" was going within myself, dissecting and realizing my lesson, and what choice I was going to make about it.
" Cheat Codes"?
No, I'm afraid there are no cheat codes for life. It takes intensive work, accepting self, accepting other as self and loving each self for who they are. What a ride it's been!! I wouldn't trade it for anything because it is the sum of who I currently am, and continue to evolve into as I go deeper. What an experience we are enjoying!!
Life is about choices, and "A" choice. Guidance is available to whomever really wants it.
Ask for that, not cheat codes.
That's my "2 cents" to the collective. If it helps just one person out of a tight spot it will have been a small amount of time to spend writing this, well worth it. Life is an experience to share with whomever it may help. Love and light to whomever made it this far! It'll be great to know each other on an even deeper level as all this unfolds. I figured I'd get an early start!!