I want to explore the negative polarity.

[Sacred Fool]

  
Ouch!  What I read in your screed, tan132, is heavy duty trauma and a will to punch through it to something less distorted.  Now, you might look at the same thing and see it wholly differently, but if the above description rings true, you might wanna think about which way forward can lead you in that direction, a new 3D planet, 4D- or 4D+.

If your desire is understood by you as wanting to heal trauma, I'm guessing there are better ways of doing that than by continuing along in the movie you're living in now and pushing that mayhem over the cliff, hoping to have a soft landing.  Just my opinion.