Asoltsutsesvyl, I feel for what you are writing.
I do not know if that might help, but something happened to me which helped greatly, and curiously it didn't happen from meditation or some involvement into deep spiritual research or study. It happened in fact as a gift from perhaps like second density to me being in third.
It was in 1984, and that was in about the seventh month of coma of my son who was just a little older than 2. We thought he would wake up in the first few days after the accident since his body reactions were about that path, but it wasn't happening, and I was sitting one morning early at a coffeeshop near the hospital and having a cup of coffee from an ivory earthenware cup. Suddenly, I was pretty low, and the cup started to like, look at me and tell me really clearly really clearly I love you. I looked around because I had started to think anyway that my mind was getting like going nuts more or less, even if I did continue to do all the regular things of daily life.
I was pretty psyched to tell you the truth and I got back to that coffee shop only two days later. It was not the same thing with the cup but still there was something there. The next evening, so three days later, close friends had invited us for dinner, and there was a conversation of three more other people there and one woman was talking really excitedly about a group meeting of friends she had had, and had tried a sort of para psychology thing where they all had brought an object and they would try by picking an object that didn't belong to them, to tell something about that object. One of the women picked a blue chipped cup and after closing her eyes said, for the cup, I had a pretty good life serving this family and then the woman who owned me decided to get rid of me because I am chipped and I was thrown away without any good bye. Then the woman opened her eyes and then, after a small pause, one of the other women started to cry, and she confessed that this was in fact her cup that she had thrown away weeks before, had been found by one of the women of the group and this third woman of the group had found the words coming from the cup..
It's really a stretched story, I am sorry, but it was really in a weird way the beginning of my pushing back from a temporary bottom, I started to look at objects in a very different way, I mean I loved plants and trees and all this nature but that little thing of the cup that really changed things a lot for me. My morning coffee became an anchor something like that, in my life. When I look at things today, I see this as a really important event... lol as nutty as I seem to have been.
I do not know if that might help, but something happened to me which helped greatly, and curiously it didn't happen from meditation or some involvement into deep spiritual research or study. It happened in fact as a gift from perhaps like second density to me being in third.
It was in 1984, and that was in about the seventh month of coma of my son who was just a little older than 2. We thought he would wake up in the first few days after the accident since his body reactions were about that path, but it wasn't happening, and I was sitting one morning early at a coffeeshop near the hospital and having a cup of coffee from an ivory earthenware cup. Suddenly, I was pretty low, and the cup started to like, look at me and tell me really clearly really clearly I love you. I looked around because I had started to think anyway that my mind was getting like going nuts more or less, even if I did continue to do all the regular things of daily life.I was pretty psyched to tell you the truth and I got back to that coffee shop only two days later. It was not the same thing with the cup but still there was something there. The next evening, so three days later, close friends had invited us for dinner, and there was a conversation of three more other people there and one woman was talking really excitedly about a group meeting of friends she had had, and had tried a sort of para psychology thing where they all had brought an object and they would try by picking an object that didn't belong to them, to tell something about that object. One of the women picked a blue chipped cup and after closing her eyes said, for the cup, I had a pretty good life serving this family and then the woman who owned me decided to get rid of me because I am chipped and I was thrown away without any good bye. Then the woman opened her eyes and then, after a small pause, one of the other women started to cry, and she confessed that this was in fact her cup that she had thrown away weeks before, had been found by one of the women of the group and this third woman of the group had found the words coming from the cup..
It's really a stretched story, I am sorry, but it was really in a weird way the beginning of my pushing back from a temporary bottom, I started to look at objects in a very different way, I mean I loved plants and trees and all this nature but that little thing of the cup that really changed things a lot for me. My morning coffee became an anchor something like that, in my life. When I look at things today, I see this as a really important event... lol as nutty as I seem to have been.
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