Does anyone regret coming to Earth?

[Asolsutsesvyl]

I've experienced different types of not wishing to be here during different parts of my life.

In childhood, during school years, I sometimes became suicidally depressed. But something my mother told me, about people being here for a reason, and needing to incarnate again to get it done if trying to skip it by exiting prematurely, stuck with me. (She's probably the most difficult person in my life, a source of help at times and plenty of pain and frustration at other times, and unchanging in that regard.)

I think my most common wish is that there were a pause button on life, but not an eject button. This place can be so overwhelming sometimes, and I think if we had the ability to just take a break sometimes, we'd be able to process our catalyst a lot better.

The last half a decade, it's felt as if my inner life has sped up, while outer life feels a bit as if submerged in thick syrup, sluggish and senselessly unresponsive to whatever is in the consciousness of both myself and others.

In that regard, I actually often feel that whatever opportunities may be there for learning and more constructive and creative developments, both for myself and others, simply slip by, most invisible resources brought by everyone seemingly slowly consumed for nothing. As if most of the consciousness involved was on a permanent vacation, only the small sliver of it able to suffer usually present. It somehow seems miraculous when something good unfolds, because it seems so strange.

At other times, it feels as if all is alright, regardless of the outside world.

What wanderers usually do not realize is that that which is so obvious and easy from the other side of the veil is impossible to read and difficult to bear within the thick veiling of the third density of Earth, with its free will and its extremely thick veil. The danger always is that the wanderer will not wake up, or, if it is partially awake, that it will awaken only to complain that it is not comfortable, that it wants to go home, that it must leave this place that is so polluted and dirty.

This is the kind of message that may have been helpful to me around the time it was channeled, in mid-2007. But I didn't find it, nor come around to explore such material, until much more recently.

Sometimes I've had psychic impressions of the overall landscape of society and what's in it. The clearer the picture has been, the uglier it has seemed. The more I learned about the world, the uglier it seemed to become as awareness grew. Because I was aware of how much people often value is illusory, yet couldn't see any meaning or find any faith beyond the miserable view which remained when those illusions were removed.

To those who feel these things, we would suggest that it is precisely because this planet is so in need of higher vibrations that you came to serve at this time, to help lighten the vibrations of Planet Earth. And you could not do this without incarnating and becoming one of the tribe of humankind. Your love was so great that you took that step. And now you have awakened and you know how difficult a step it was to take. We encourage you to take hold of the honor and the duty of being a wanderer.

It's an idea difficult to translate into concrete ideas of how it may manifest. Utilitarian ethics do not apply to this kind of thing, and most good and the absence thereof seem to remain unseen and unseeable in the incarnate state.

That which you know of the higher planes, that which you remember in a dim or not so dim way, bring into your heart and let it bless the environment that you see before you, just as it is. You are not here to clean it up. You are not here to make it right. You are not here to fix it. For all of the outer world is an illusion. You are here to love it. Take the world in your arms and embrace it. This is how you came to serve. This is your glory and your crown. Wear it well and rejoice in being here.

It's much easier to consider the idea that a higher version of the self may be able to bless and love the world than doing it at this level. It's also easy to find an intention of, basically, good will towards the environment. But there's, in my personal experience, an enormous chasm between such an intention of good will and the senses of love and gratitude usually talked about in the abstract and in connection with spirituality. When I consider those, I find myself trying to find meaning in what seems like awkward inner "postures" which are diconnected from any embodied sense of being meaningful.

I have found that so often, surrendering and deliberately changing one's perspective is pretty much all you can do in so many circumstances.

It seems to be a theme in the end of one chapter and the beginning of another in the personal "story" as it unfolds. Perhaps a good reminder for me.

It can also be a challenge wanting so much to effect positive change in this problematic civilization, and either not knowing how to achieve this, but also not being able to in the face of seemingly insurmountable opposition.

I'm still working on the lesson that it's not my job to "fix" this planet's problems - but I'm not done yet trying - but I realize it's a tricky business that needs constant attention to navigate effectively.

I've found that in part it helps, in part it doesn't, to learn more about human history and nature and repeating patterns. It can make it much more clear that there's little hope of changing others for them, and that everything tends to play out the way it does because people are basically what and how they are. But that still leaves a large gap in terms of seeing possibilities for change in areas where things are obviously not going as well as they could. I still haven't moved beyond all my bitterness connected to that.