The Cultivation of Radical Honesty

[rva_jeremy]

Being honest with myself has been a lifelong struggle, and most of it seemed to stem from shame I felt due to actions I perceived to be unwise or flawed.

Exactly. We hurt ourselves with our judgment and shame. Then to protect ourselves, we abandon the source instead of facing and healing it. It's easy to intellectualize it and just say, well, that's catalyst. It's another thing entirely to experience it.

I feel like it's in precisely these kinds of personal moments when I'd benefit from an appreciation for the archetypical framework. To at least have a clue of how these things become soluble in one's life.

What you describe seems very similar to what I've experienced. I think for me the points at which I have made the most sustained progress is when I could, as others have advised me on other threads, pick myself up, dust myself off, and say "let's have another go at this". Everyday is a new chance to be oneself, but that can seem far too much responsibility sometimes - what, you mean I actually have to be conscious of what I'm thinking, and not just let it drive me and simply react to it?

Your situation sounds more like mine than you probably imagine, so I appreciate you sharing. What helps me more than anything is reassurance, examples, demonstrations that others deal with this, that I'm not alone. It seems so sappy because I intellectually know that there's no reason I can't do A, B, and C, and there's certainly no reason I need others' support for those ends. Then I go through a bunch of intense emotional experiences and recall that, yes, in fact, I am not simply an intellect.

So thanks for sharing, it is very much appreciated.

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Yeh, but I think I would agree with myself more had I written "control" instead of "discipline".

Right - but what is the difference? This is my big question in essence. In what sense does Ra distinguish the two concepts, do you think?

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So, what does "transparent" mean exactly in this context?

Good question. What do you think?

Well, it reminds me of something somebody said to me on the Asc2k mailing list years ago. He said the more aware one becomes, the less one is actually living one's life as a personal drama, and the more one is sort of a spectator of one's ego and situations.

Similarly, I feel like a transparent personality would be one in which the third density situation at a given moment is appreciated less and less for its material nature and more and more as an opportunity for expressing the self/the Creator. That is, you release ego identification as the only driving force in a given situation and embrace spirit identification as at least a choice of perspective, if not the one you always choose.

In such a flipping of the identities, it's not so much that you become somebody different. It's that you aren't trapped; that you can get a 30,000 foot view in addition to a 3 ft view. Perhaps the difference is not necessarily qualitative but quantitative. You aren't less invested necessarily in the day-to-day concerns, but you don't regard those concerns as constraining on you. This comes with responsibility inherent in it, however, and as Ahktu said, it is a valid and typical response to reject it.

This is why the description of concepts like the higher self and the archetypical mind as a resource makes a lot of intuitive sense to me. In that sense, the ego identity is, too, a "resource". This makes the search for the authentic self or, as Max Stirner described it, "the unique one", all the more critical. The transparency arises from being able to step out of the way of the energies/dynamics/thoughts, whether they are material or spiritual in orientation, and not simply identify with their harnessing or manipulation.

It's almost like a different take on the agent/principal problem. Who you think you are (who you think the principal is) determines what you think the set of possible attitudes and actions are (the scope of your agency).

Please don't feel a need to react to all this babbling, but I'd be interest in feedback on any portion of it.

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Discipline is a word that can take on a lot of different shades, since it can mean punishment, as well as simply a field of study, or the act of studying. The discipline of practicing a musical instrument hours each day doesn't feel like punishment to the person who wants to do it, it's just, well, work at its worst, and a true joy, even a spiritual experience at its best.

Perhaps a good start at a distinction between control and discipline is that discipline involves the regularization of will and desire, whereas control is the constraint of will and desire. Positive reinforcement vs. negative restriction?

I don't think that's a sufficient explanation of the distinguishing characteristics, but maybe it starts us down a fruitful path.