09-25-2020, 01:59 PM
hi flo,
no, not too too much suffering. I've been seeing a hypnotherapist, and while I haven't even been hypnotized, it's been a revelatory experience each time. We had a session a couple days ago that put me in a deep place of contemplation. I had found myself in that place many times throughout the years, in varying intensities. I now see it as a sort of "zone of Choice"....... this "zone" I've found myself in in the past has sort of broken me in some ways, or I've broken myself because the perceived pressure was so great. So, in the past, I would continue allowing this wound I have to fester. Now, though.... I don't want to keep doing that.
Really, I consciously realized that I've got wounds that I am actively ignoring/suppressing. This was sort of hard to sit with, but it felt lighter than it had in the past.
I took some mushrooms that same night, because they always help in one way or another when it comes to these spiritual "dilemmas". I became acutely aware of some dark energy in me, specifically in my abdominal area. I could identify it on one level as a feeling of disgust. I explored it. It felt like I was being lowered into a thick, black plume of smoke. I almost got lost! Lol
Anyways.... I've been playing out the same behaviors for so long and they aren't aligned with the path I seek. It's clear to me that in a lot of ways I've been a broken record (like many, many I am sure) for all of my life, and I want to change that.
Yes and you are right flo.... it is so simple, yet so easy to misunderstand sometimes..... thank you
no, not too too much suffering. I've been seeing a hypnotherapist, and while I haven't even been hypnotized, it's been a revelatory experience each time. We had a session a couple days ago that put me in a deep place of contemplation. I had found myself in that place many times throughout the years, in varying intensities. I now see it as a sort of "zone of Choice"....... this "zone" I've found myself in in the past has sort of broken me in some ways, or I've broken myself because the perceived pressure was so great. So, in the past, I would continue allowing this wound I have to fester. Now, though.... I don't want to keep doing that.
Really, I consciously realized that I've got wounds that I am actively ignoring/suppressing. This was sort of hard to sit with, but it felt lighter than it had in the past.
I took some mushrooms that same night, because they always help in one way or another when it comes to these spiritual "dilemmas". I became acutely aware of some dark energy in me, specifically in my abdominal area. I could identify it on one level as a feeling of disgust. I explored it. It felt like I was being lowered into a thick, black plume of smoke. I almost got lost! Lol
Anyways.... I've been playing out the same behaviors for so long and they aren't aligned with the path I seek. It's clear to me that in a lot of ways I've been a broken record (like many, many I am sure) for all of my life, and I want to change that.
Yes and you are right flo.... it is so simple, yet so easy to misunderstand sometimes..... thank you