Hi there Kaziel
I don't know much about that but from the little that I have read about shamanism is mostly what you share, it forces oneself to face the self and the death / rebirth of self to appreciate being in the moment or being alive.
The main issue in my opinion of shamanism in these moments is the choice of investment of the people's of earth, that is in material and not spirit (not neccesarily wrong or bad). A devoted shaman who is living in a city / town cannot or rather has a great difficulty to come forward in truth and serve other-selves as a healer. I can't imagine what kind of catalyst and further experience that can create for the shaman, but I'd like to believe that all is well and everyone has their place. Perhaps you can offer shaman service via internet, but I wouldn't recommend it as I feel that it's a different type of energy work.
So to stress again, I think if you want to keep doing this work, though perhaps you don't have to at this moment, as a shaman you'll have to face your fears so you can help others heal when they face their fears and not be swayed (balance). It reminds me of a quote in the material "1.10 Thus, to learn is the same as to teach unless you are not teaching what you are learning, in which case you have done you/they little or no good."
I feel that you may be perhaps a bit too harsh on your incarnate self, and perhaps some tender acceptance of your condition might be of aid, I mean that it is ok to be human and do human things. This exeperience is very intense at this time, for everyone, it feels like thousands of years of learning is condensed in such a small portion of our life. What flo said is also very important that is nature, a big part of shamanism is a voluntary isolation especially in nature. So do take care of your self first, your smaller self and walk step by step, you are most likely already doing well for yourself and others and just can't tell yet under a veil.
I noticed that I haven't addressed the title, I feel that it's not precisely related to shamanism but more to being a wanderer of a type / a pre-existing condition / a weaker mind which allows the negative to greet itself. For example in the material Carla has had pains in her wrist, which allowed a further negative greeting.
Also, perhaps another service of a shaman is the service to lingering spirits, perhaps that might be something that you encountered that scared you. Hope this perspective might be of aid.
I don't know much about that but from the little that I have read about shamanism is mostly what you share, it forces oneself to face the self and the death / rebirth of self to appreciate being in the moment or being alive.
The main issue in my opinion of shamanism in these moments is the choice of investment of the people's of earth, that is in material and not spirit (not neccesarily wrong or bad). A devoted shaman who is living in a city / town cannot or rather has a great difficulty to come forward in truth and serve other-selves as a healer. I can't imagine what kind of catalyst and further experience that can create for the shaman, but I'd like to believe that all is well and everyone has their place. Perhaps you can offer shaman service via internet, but I wouldn't recommend it as I feel that it's a different type of energy work.
So to stress again, I think if you want to keep doing this work, though perhaps you don't have to at this moment, as a shaman you'll have to face your fears so you can help others heal when they face their fears and not be swayed (balance). It reminds me of a quote in the material "1.10 Thus, to learn is the same as to teach unless you are not teaching what you are learning, in which case you have done you/they little or no good."
I feel that you may be perhaps a bit too harsh on your incarnate self, and perhaps some tender acceptance of your condition might be of aid, I mean that it is ok to be human and do human things. This exeperience is very intense at this time, for everyone, it feels like thousands of years of learning is condensed in such a small portion of our life. What flo said is also very important that is nature, a big part of shamanism is a voluntary isolation especially in nature. So do take care of your self first, your smaller self and walk step by step, you are most likely already doing well for yourself and others and just can't tell yet under a veil.
I noticed that I haven't addressed the title, I feel that it's not precisely related to shamanism but more to being a wanderer of a type / a pre-existing condition / a weaker mind which allows the negative to greet itself. For example in the material Carla has had pains in her wrist, which allowed a further negative greeting.
Also, perhaps another service of a shaman is the service to lingering spirits, perhaps that might be something that you encountered that scared you. Hope this perspective might be of aid.
